I came back from emergency about almost 2 weeks ago, and now I am just trying to finish out this duty tour from hell. I didn't exactly get to do what I came here to do, instead, my life was filled with a lot of really senseless duties, like driving around the military housing area on a golf cart, for patrol purpose, staff duty (the military version of the 24 hour custodial duty), and worst of all, being caught between power struggles of this battalion and the division that I work for. I will be SO GLAD once I board that plane back to the States!
I miss my grandma immensely still, but I just don't burst into tears everytime that I think about her now. Maybe it's because somewhere in the back of my mind, I know that I'll see her again. I thought that it might look something like these scenes from that show "Six Feet Under", in the final episode, where they showed how all the characters died. Right before some of the characters would pass away, they see their loved ones who have passed away before them, as if to welcome them into the afterlife. Of course, there is always a possibility that all the things that I've ever heard or read about the afterlife could be wrong, but for now, I think I'll stick to my uneducated gut feelings about this. Without some blind faith, I think this life would be very hard to live out.
I finally got the net hooked my in the barracks that I live in now, yes, it has been like almost 3 months too late, but better late than never, right? I hooked up Skype and can talk to the GF and folks from home at just about anytime now. Provided that neither of us are asleep, there are 14 hours time difference between us. No more wasting $ on phone cards!
My heart goes out to these three people:
*My GF, who is going through a hard time at work because one of her co-worker is something of a schizophrenic, and the GF was the victim of a lot her co-wroker's outbursts. The GF has been handling everything with a lot of control and grace, but I know that it must not be easy.
*My grandfather, and that's for how hard it is to have lost his companion of 74 years and having to cope with the aftermath. On the outside, he has shed the least amount of tears, but I can tell that's not a reflection of what is going on on the inside. He has not been sleeping to well lately, and for obvious reasons. I hope that eventually, he'll be able to feel more of that sense of peace in knowing that he and grandma had a great life together, and that it can be continued in heaven.
*My sister, she had a lot of hopes of being able to look out for our grandparents, and also finding a new life in Texas. Now she's living in their house and also missing grandma immensely, and sort of submerged for regretting not having moved down sooner. I feel for her.
On top of all that, I have no idea where my next job will be next, but I hope that it will all work out in its due time. It's really time to move on to the next phase of life, the kind of growing up that has to do with a lot more communications, more stable job, a house, and most importantly, kids so we can participate in the ruining of the next generation!