This song....

kept running through my head today...

The Fray
Over my head

I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a queue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Just say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
But that's disregard
Find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

And suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and its effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down
I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves

And everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Everyone knows
She's on your mind
Everyone knows I'm in over my head
I'm in over my head
I'm in over...

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Back in the states

After getting stuck in Chicago O'Hare, because of flight cancellations, I finally made it home on early Sat. morning instead of Friday afternoon. The weather was the main factor in flight cancellations, and on that note, let me give a standing ovation to the pilots and crews of UA flight #753, because of their flying skills (I'm not being at all sarcastic!), we made it back to kansas City in one piece!

It was great to see the pets, the apt., and most of all, the GF! We spent to the weekend just eating and relaxing, there were nothing better for us to do. We also went to watch the movie "Little Miss Sunshine", and I highly recommend it! That movie doesn't have the usual fluff of the movies around now, and it was sad, funny, and hopeful at the same time. Take my word for it, I think it's definitely the funny little movie that could of the year!

The pets have been quite forgiving to my 3 months absence. The cats have been affectionate, still recognizing me, and even taking their place next to my pillow for naps! The dog have been following me around the house, easing my worry that he is mad at me.

This week will be all about the apt. cleaning, and preparing meals for the GF and the pets! The rest will follow.

There is no place like home!

*To Jeff and Eric: I'm glad that you guys received the rocks, I'm sorry that I couldn't send anything more exotic, but stay tuned!

Bye bye Japan!

Yes, finally, your truly is about to depart Japan tomorrow afternoon and embark on whatever that's next.

I was not able to say goodbye to everyone that I knew here, but via the power of electronic communications, I hope that task was sufficiently accomplished. This has been the one of the worst military duty experience that I've ever had, but the $ made helped to make this whole thing a bit better.

I don't think I want to travel extensively abroad for a while for now. I need to be with the GF, the pets, my grandfather, my sister, and go visit my grandmother at her gravesite. Even though I have no idea what is coming up next, where I'll be working, and where we'll be living at, I'm not that worried because I know that will not help with things. I hope that things will eventually work out.

I wish for the best of all the soldiers here at the bullshit battalion, I hope they will not have to struggle with a lost and spineless leadership system for too much longer. May each of them find their calling and bliss like we all should be doing. To the nice Japanese folks that I've been associating with, "arigato"!

I'll post some photos from my trip when I come back and will have captions on them, so stay tuned!

Japan is a good place to visit and try new foods, but if you are not into small places and all things expensive, then maybe a visit is all that's really neccessary.

Here's to a safe flight, and a big sayonara!

Rest in peace, Lucky dog

Lucky is this black lab mix that my uncle and his family had for the past 5 or so years, they got him after they got robbed. They adopted him from the local animal shelter and kept him sort of as a guard dog.

Unfortunately, while my uncle and his family did not abuse Lucky, they did keep Lucky on a leash in their backyard most of the time. As their kids grew up, less and less time were devoted to Lucky.

Lucky eventually learned to get out of his leash and run around the neighborhood, and he also ran to my grandparents' house a lot, where he knew that my grandmother would give him treats. The last time I saw and petted him, he showed up after my grandmother's funeral, and he sat in front of the garage door of my grandparents' house, waiting for us to open the door for him. He looked as sad as I felt at that time. I gave him some water and he sat by me in the backyard while I petted him.

Yesterday, as the whole family prepared to attend church, my aunt chained him inside the house with a metal leash instead of a leather or a fabric leash. Lucky tried to escape by jumping out of a window that I guess was partially open. He choked himself to death on his metal leash, and by the time that my uncle had returned him, Lucky's body was already stiff.

I don't know what's going on, but there are some morbid stuff going on in Houston, where my family's living. First was my grandmother's death, now Lucky, and I hope to God that there's no more deaths for a long time! I'm really sad about Lucky's death, and I hope that he's already by my grandmother's side as her pet in heaven.

Rest in peace, Lucky dog, may you never be chained up again!

For my GF

Every Woman In the World

Air Supply

Every night seems dinner and wine
Saturday days
I was never in love, never had the time
In my hustle and hurried world
Laughing my self to sleep, waking up lonely
I needed someone to hold me, oh

It's such a crazy home town
It can drag you down
Till you run out of dreams
So you party all night to the music and lights
But you don't what happiness means
I was dancing in the dark with strangers
No love around me
When suddenly you found me, oh

Girl, you're every woman in the world to me
You're my fantasy, you're my reality
Girl, you're every woman in the world to me
You're everything I need,
You're everything to me
Oh girl

Everything good, everything fine
That's what you are
So put your hand in mine and together we'll climb
As high as the highest star
I'm living the life time in every minute
That we're together
And I'm staying right here forever, oh

a song dedication....

....to the bullshit battalion who has held me prisoner for the last three months....

"Get Me Outta Here"
By Jet

I went down to the bank
To get me a'pay
I'm gonna get me outta here
I got me some cash
I'm heading back to LA
I'm gonna get me outta here

I'm sacking the man
cause the man is a thief
I'm kicking the plan
before the plan kicks me
I'm gonna get me
Get me out of here
I'm gonna get me
Get me out of here

I went down to the Duke
10 time a day
I'm gonna get me outta here
Drink all night and talking shit all day
I'm gonna get me outta here

I'm sacking the man
Tcause the man is a thief
I'm kicking the plan
before the plan kicks me
I'm gonna get me
Get me out of here
I'm gonna get me
Get me out of here

I don't mind how I live my life
Without the luck you got
I ain't tryin' to keep in time
So just keep off my ride
You won't hang your rusty sign on me

I went down to the bank
Just to get me my pay
Get me outta here
I'm gonna get me
Get me outta here
I'm gonna get me
Get me outta here

One of the ultimate bad lucks

I was reading news articles about the Stryker Brigades today, when I noticed that some of the formerly deployed soliders from Alaska have been recalled to active duty, some after they have returned home, and others found out when they were waiting for their states-bound plane from Kuwait.

The article is here is you want to read it.

I was thinking back about my deployment, and how our group almost could not get out of Kuwait because our less than brilliant commander forgot to sign us out of Iraq. Nevertheless, we still managed to get back to the states and promptly got our luggages and gear about 3 weeks after we should have already gotten back to our homes. It was sadly comical, but thank God all of us got back in one piece and healthy, at least physically!

The return to the states is getting closer, and I cannot wait! God forbid if they should extend my order here!!

Turn, turn, turn

Words-adapted from the bible, book of ecclesiastes
Music-pete seeger

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven

A time to build up,a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven

A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven

A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time to love, a time to hate
A time for peace, I swear its not too late

This song all of a sudden for me this year has a greater meaning, with my grandmother passing away, the few other folks who went before her (famous folks like the guys who made that "90210" show, and the like.), and now, the former Israel prime minister Ariel Sharon, who's slipping away from life as we speak, his slipping away sounds eerily like my grandmother's passing. It feels like an era is about to end and something new will happen. Whether that is a good thing or not, I don't really know. The GF frequents this self-proclaimed Christian prophet's site , and she'd tell me about some of the prophesies that this man has made about world affairs, natural disasters, etc. God supposedly talks to him directly, but for some reasons, God never gives him any timelines or different things to tell him. (He's got a sense of humor, of course!) Anyway, this man said that this was going to be the year that a lot of folks who were in the show and political businesses will pass away, but don't people die just about every year and every day?

Just wanted to mention that this guy will take Visa, Master, checks and money order, and American Express if you're interested in supporting his ministry. I guess the days of surviving just on manna has long since passed.

Anyway, my point is that, I think I might just had a semi-prophetic/knowing moment.

Lazy Sunday

Woke up today to this rush of tummy trouble, I guess the roasted chicken that I had yesterday was not such a good idea at the end. I was finally able to go online and chat with the GF, and with the aid of a borrowed webcam, I also got to see her and the pets! It was good to see that they're all good and running around, being themselves.

I went back to sleep after our chat, and slept for like 2 hours or so. Lately, I just feel so sleepy all the time. Not having a lot to do here helps a lot. Yes, there are all these places that I can goto in Japan, but some places that I wanted to go take a lot of yens that I don't have and if I do get to a place that I really liked, I might risk missing Japan a bit.

There are so many things that I've got to do after I come back to the States, not counting looking for another job, or filing for unemployment for a while, and also fussing with military stuff, part of it being getting this experience out of my way.

There was this festival called the "Bon Odori" festival that was held right outside of the barracks that I live in. There really was nothing overtly Japanese about it, rather, a chance for local and contracted vendors to sell their stuff. I found out that the Japanese people LOVES American pizza (there were a lot of locals who were granted access to this post.), Budweiser beer, and hot dogs, boy do they like them! It rained really hard during part of the festival, it rained so much that I thought that a typhoon was blowing by!

Two highlights of yesterday were that I won this digital camera at this drawing, and it was one of those $300+ models of digital cameras too! (Now I've just got to figure out how to take it back with me, without having it shattered to pieces, thanks, terrorit assholes!) The other highlight was that I got to talk to some of the pilots and the crew chiefs who fly one of the Blackhawk helicopters on display there, even took some photos of parts of myself in the cockpit...I wanted to stay away from these goofily posed tourist photos! Of course I asked about about their nightmarish moments in flight, and whether or not some of these urban myths that I've heard about helicopter decapitations were true...c'mon, I can't resist!

Next week, more mailing out stuff back home, and getting myself ready to get outta here! I've got to clean the room, and give it back to the powers that be cleaner than when I first came in, how fair is that!

I miss everyone from home!

A few thing to say....

To the terrorists who are trying to blow up everything and everyone: Cut the crap, if you think that your rewards are 77 virgins, you're in for some shocks!

To the government workers who got their jobs because they've married someone important or was once has-beens: You're slowing down progress.

To domestic based airlines: Keep trying...


To the battalion/brigade who are keeping me here in Japan right now: I am getting on that flight home, and you can't stop me.

To Doritos chips: I love you!

To the major news channels: I don't really want to know how to make a bomb from hair gels or breast milk, so spare me the details.

To Floyd Landis: I believe ya!

To my sister: Good luck with the business lunch, I hope good things will happen to you in Texas!

To the GF: Love and miss ya!

Sweet!

Cheese workers win Powerball dough
Dozens of Sargento employees say they'll split $208.6 million

Tuesday, August 8, 2006; Posted: 4:27 a.m. EDT (08:27 GMT)


Lori Breske, left, greets Powerball winner Jill Wilkens as she arrives at work Monday.

PLYMOUTH, Wisconsin (AP) -- Dozens of cheese company workers returned to their jobs Monday after they reported being among about 100 workers who won a Powerball jackpot worth $208.6 million.

Andrea Fink, 26, of Sheboygan, said she arrived early for her second shift in the afternoon at Sargento Foods to meet with the other winners. The group said it held the only winning ticket for Saturday's Powerball drawing.

"I don't know what to say. I can't believe it. It just seems unreal," said Fink, who planned to buy a house with her winnings.

Sargento Chief Executive Officer Lou Gentine said he met with most of the winners and some other employees Monday afternoon before they started work, and the gathering often burst into applause.

The ticket has been turned over to an attorney, he said, though he was not sure when it would be submitted to the lottery. The group estimates each person will receive between $500,000 and $700,000, after taxes, if they choose to take a lump sum, he said.

"To see the joy on their faces, it's just incredible," Gentine said. "We're really happy for them."

The winners are of different ages and do a variety of jobs, such as cutting and shredding cheese, loading trucks and performing maintenance, Gentine said. He said their salaries range between $30,000 and $50,000 a year.

Colleen Sumner, 51, of Crystal Lake, said she was not sure whether she would keep working at Sargento, where she has been employed for nearly 19 years.

"It's going to help how many different families. It's super. It's a lot better than one person winning," she said.

The winning ticket was sold at Ma and Pa's Grocery Express in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin, along the so-called "Miracle Mile," a stretch of South Main Street where several stores sold multimillion-dollar tickets during the 1990s.

Ma and Pa's sold a winning Megabucks ticket worth $6.5 million in 1994 and has sold tickets that won $500,000, $250,000 and $100,000.

Powerball is played in 29 states, the District of Columbia and the U.S. Virgin Islands.

Copyright 2006 The Associated Press.

Cool Monday evening

After about a week's of 95 degree plus weather, it finally rained today and the temperature got down to about 77 degrees. It was the kind of rain that didn't come down very hard, and there was even a breeze!

Tomorrow is the Chinese father's day, and I'd like to wish my grandfather as happy of a father's day as can be. They say that the loss of of a loved one is felt most acutely when holidays or birthdays come around.

I finally got net hookup in my room, and stupid ole me could have gotten the connection when I first came here, but it's my fault that I didn't try hard enough to try to find a net provider. I downloaded Skype and now I can talk for FREE to the GF and the family back in Texas... technology is simply grand!

I went through the first step of getting out of this small military post in Japan by getting a full physical. It's required so the army will not be liable for any illnesses that happens after us reservists leave an active duty tour. So to get constant military provided healthcare, basically someone like myself would have to be on constant active duty. Not me though, the beauty of being a weekend warrior is that I could be on active duty as I'd like, unless I'm called up to war again. I do sort of long for a more normal life though, whatever that might mean.

I can't wait to fly back home, even if I don't really know what is coming later. Really looking forward to peting the pets, wearing things which are not uniforms, being a housewife, havinge a mini-me, and just basically not really looking back.

A shoutout to Jeff at Phidoux, I've got your Mt. Fuji rocks and photos, and I'll be sending the rocks to you soon, but you might have to wait for a bit for the photos. I've got another shoutout to my grandma in heaven, I hope that she's having a blast in the company of God, her family from back in Mainland China (most of them had passed on before she did), and a bunch of friends as they party up there. ( I hope they're are!)

To the GF, I miss you!

"Forever"

By Vertical Horizon

Take these roses off of me
Let me live, let me be
For a little while
Let my eyes,
See everything and nothing in their time
I do not mind

Who've guess I'd learn
To let the walls around me burn
Light up the hillside
My words, I ate them for so long and nothing changed
It was just the same

And I don't know if you see me here
But I can tell you your face is clear
I will see you...

Forever
Forever
I will see you
Forever
Forever

Call me close once again
Call me teacher, call me friend
Just like the first time
Call my name, it echos around me in this room
Its all you

I don't know if you hear me there
But it's dark so no one cares
I will hear you...

Forever
Forever
I will hear you
Forever
Forever

I wanted you to be everything to me
Now I've got to learn to carry on
I know I cannot hide this emptiness inside
But nothing is the same since you've gone

Send me letters from above
Send me strength, send me love
Such sweet love
Sing me songs that echo in my head and in my heart
That's where you are

And I don't know if you feel me here
I can tell you one thing that's clear
I will feel you...

Forever
Forever
I will feel you
Forever
Forever
I will hear you
Forever
Forever
I will see you
Forever
Forever

Take these roses off of me
Let me live, let me be

Long time no see!

I came back from emergency about almost 2 weeks ago, and now I am just trying to finish out this duty tour from hell. I didn't exactly get to do what I came here to do, instead, my life was filled with a lot of really senseless duties, like driving around the military housing area on a golf cart, for patrol purpose, staff duty (the military version of the 24 hour custodial duty), and worst of all, being caught between power struggles of this battalion and the division that I work for. I will be SO GLAD once I board that plane back to the States!

I miss my grandma immensely still, but I just don't burst into tears everytime that I think about her now. Maybe it's because somewhere in the back of my mind, I know that I'll see her again. I thought that it might look something like these scenes from that show "Six Feet Under", in the final episode, where they showed how all the characters died. Right before some of the characters would pass away, they see their loved ones who have passed away before them, as if to welcome them into the afterlife. Of course, there is always a possibility that all the things that I've ever heard or read about the afterlife could be wrong, but for now, I think I'll stick to my uneducated gut feelings about this. Without some blind faith, I think this life would be very hard to live out.

I finally got the net hooked my in the barracks that I live in now, yes, it has been like almost 3 months too late, but better late than never, right? I hooked up Skype and can talk to the GF and folks from home at just about anytime now. Provided that neither of us are asleep, there are 14 hours time difference between us. No more wasting $ on phone cards!

My heart goes out to these three people:

*My GF, who is going through a hard time at work because one of her co-worker is something of a schizophrenic, and the GF was the victim of a lot her co-wroker's outbursts. The GF has been handling everything with a lot of control and grace, but I know that it must not be easy.

*My grandfather, and that's for how hard it is to have lost his companion of 74 years and having to cope with the aftermath. On the outside, he has shed the least amount of tears, but I can tell that's not a reflection of what is going on on the inside. He has not been sleeping to well lately, and for obvious reasons. I hope that eventually, he'll be able to feel more of that sense of peace in knowing that he and grandma had a great life together, and that it can be continued in heaven.

*My sister, she had a lot of hopes of being able to look out for our grandparents, and also finding a new life in Texas. Now she's living in their house and also missing grandma immensely, and sort of submerged for regretting not having moved down sooner. I feel for her.

On top of all that, I have no idea where my next job will be next, but I hope that it will all work out in its due time. It's really time to move on to the next phase of life, the kind of growing up that has to do with a lot more communications, more stable job, a house, and most importantly, kids so we can participate in the ruining of the next generation!