In my girlfriend's blog, she talked about how down she had been feeling, over not (according to her) having achieved much over the past year, and in her life.
For those of you who may not know her, my girlfriend is one of the smartest and most fluent speaker that I've ever met. She's got a lot of fire and spark in her, and very dedicated as far as friendships are concerned, but unfortuntaly, not all of her friends chose to give her nearly half of the dedication that she had displayed to them.
It had been really hard for her to be alone, while I was in Iraq. On top of missing me, there was this constant fear that I might have fallen victim to one of the many attacks that have occured in that part of the world. While I wasn't on a vacation in any sense of the word, I had some support from some of the great people that I've met over there. Friendships established in the army sometimes, even if they don't last, are often need based and they were good enough for that time being. I've also got this component of my personality that is able to adopt to situations, so while the Iraq experience was diffucult in one sense, I still wouldn't rule it as the worst experience in my life.
It got harder for her when she found out about my one indescretionary experience, and it was my fault that I let it happen. I wish that I could take it back, but it happened and it's over now. Heat makes people do stupid things sometimes.
My point is that we are all just trying to make it somehow, and that I wanted her to know that life is just a whole bunch of tryings, and success is not always guranteed. It's not worth it to submit to defeat, and I for one, don't really see her tryings as defeats or completely worthless. I have no idea whether or not this linguist job would work out or lead to anything else, and I might even fail at it, but while the possibility is out there, I've got to at least test the waters. I know that I am getting older, but still, we can still do some things, and I know also that she can do a lot more than she thinks.