Later this afternoon, a whole bunch of us who are in uniform and working for this particular place will be summoned to this sort of "come to Jesus" meeting, where they folks in charge of this place will tell us whether or not they've got enough $ to keep us working.
Just from the hush-hush statements made by some of the folks here, the vibe that I'm getting is that it may be a hard road ahead for those of us who have gotten comfortable working here, and we may either have to tighten our belts a bit to make ends meet or to look for new gigs altogher.
A bit unsettling but if any of the above happens, I've got to say that I've had a good run and I've been more than lucky to have worked this gig.
Today the in-laws are coming, along with the cute nephew, and we are going to attempt to cook the holiday bird, so wish us luck!
Happy thanksgiving to all!
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Friday, November 18, 2005
Thursday night
The GF is mad at me tonight and she's not talking to me, for plenty of good reasons, reasonable reasons. I went indoor biking after work, since it's pretty much the only thing that I can do as far as exercise is concerned. I got back late, not talking about midnight late, but about maybe one hour than I should have been home. She' usually home around close to 4, since she shows up for work around 6:30 AM. She'd like for me to goto work one hour early and get off one hour early, and so far, it has been really hard to do, I'd either get off of work later, or I'd get caught up with this indoor cycling thing. I'm not good at this sport, don't get me wrong, you should see how much more I suck at team sports! It's a meditative sort of thing, I don't know if I'm explaining it correctly.
I think the GF is getting the message that I don't really care much about time with her, and that's not true. What sucks even more is that I'm not having such a easy time showing her that it's not the case. Over dinner last night, she said that my experience in Iraq hasn't made me a more appreciative person, you know, kind of like more emotional, with more passion, and just basically living as if everyday is like my last day on earth. I told her that the "Thank God I'm alive" feeling comes and goes. Or just maybe I need to be in a more of a world of hurt to more fully appreciate life and all that's in it. I don't really know.
Whatever that has been slowing me down, making me dull, or not a better person, I'm "pedaling" it away somehow. (Starting by having a better control of my body and its movement.) It's probably not the best way to go, but for right now, it's a start.
I'm trying to talk more with the GF, and so far, I don't think she has been too happy with the results. I guess she thinks that I've got a lot to hide from her, I don't, but it does take effort to tell her some things sometimes without her getting irritated or vehemently disagreeing. There are a lot of things that make me feel the same way too, I guess I'm just not very good at explaining myself.
It must be hard for her, I know that it's hard for anyone who's all about communications to live with someone who's not doing so well at it...for 6 years and counting!
I think the GF is getting the message that I don't really care much about time with her, and that's not true. What sucks even more is that I'm not having such a easy time showing her that it's not the case. Over dinner last night, she said that my experience in Iraq hasn't made me a more appreciative person, you know, kind of like more emotional, with more passion, and just basically living as if everyday is like my last day on earth. I told her that the "Thank God I'm alive" feeling comes and goes. Or just maybe I need to be in a more of a world of hurt to more fully appreciate life and all that's in it. I don't really know.
Whatever that has been slowing me down, making me dull, or not a better person, I'm "pedaling" it away somehow. (Starting by having a better control of my body and its movement.) It's probably not the best way to go, but for right now, it's a start.
I'm trying to talk more with the GF, and so far, I don't think she has been too happy with the results. I guess she thinks that I've got a lot to hide from her, I don't, but it does take effort to tell her some things sometimes without her getting irritated or vehemently disagreeing. There are a lot of things that make me feel the same way too, I guess I'm just not very good at explaining myself.
It must be hard for her, I know that it's hard for anyone who's all about communications to live with someone who's not doing so well at it...for 6 years and counting!
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
It has been getting colder and colder in the last few days, bottoming out at mid-20's farenehit. I like the cold, don't get me wrong, but I like it even better when I'm prepared for it. Last night, I went out to walk the dog and even though I was bundled up, my fingers were still freezing in my gloves. Gloves are always hard to get right, you could have these thermonuclear devices in them and your fingers would still feel that drafty coldness!
The dog, on the other hand, loves it! He's built for winter conditions, lots of fur, and just the right amount of fat to protect himself.
The GF is in her last week of temp work, and is looking forward to taking off some time to enjoy the holidays and visits with the nephew. The nephew and the in-laws are coming up to see us next week and we'll have a mini-thanksgiving before we have a bigger one with some friends. I've never spent thanksgiving with friends before so I'm looking forward to that!
I just completed some required tests for this job that I'm trying to apply for in the Northeast and I've no idea how it's going to turn out...I hope it'll turn out well, there are a lot of toys and life neccessities that I can get if this propective job could work out.
We'll see though, you know the song lyric "...you can't always get what you want..."? I think it's to make people more grounded.
The dog, on the other hand, loves it! He's built for winter conditions, lots of fur, and just the right amount of fat to protect himself.
The GF is in her last week of temp work, and is looking forward to taking off some time to enjoy the holidays and visits with the nephew. The nephew and the in-laws are coming up to see us next week and we'll have a mini-thanksgiving before we have a bigger one with some friends. I've never spent thanksgiving with friends before so I'm looking forward to that!
I just completed some required tests for this job that I'm trying to apply for in the Northeast and I've no idea how it's going to turn out...I hope it'll turn out well, there are a lot of toys and life neccessities that I can get if this propective job could work out.
We'll see though, you know the song lyric "...you can't always get what you want..."? I think it's to make people more grounded.
Friday, November 11, 2005
What is a vet?
What Is A Vet?
He is the cop on the beat who spent six months in Saudi Arabia sweating two gallons a day making sure the armored personnel carriers didn't run out of fuel.
He is the barroom loudmouth, dumber than five wooden planks, whose overgrown frat-boy behavior is outweighed a hundred times over in the cosmic scales by four hours of exquisite bravery near the 38th parallel.
She -or he- is the nurse who fought against futility and went to sleep sobbing every night for two solid years in Da Nang.
He is the POW who went away one person and came back another, or didn't come back AT ALL.
He is the Quantico drill instructor who has never seen combat, but has saved countless lives by turning slouchy, no-account rednecks and gang members into Marines, and teaching them to watch each other's backs.
He is the parade-riding Legionnaire who pins on his ribbons and medals with a prosthetic hand.
He is the career quartermaster who watches the ribbons and medals pass him by.
He is the three anonymous heroes in The Tomb Of The Unknowns, whose Presence at the Arlington National Cemetery must forever preserve the memory of all the anonymous heroes whose valor dies unrecognized with them on the battlefield or in the ocean's sunless deep.
He is the old guy bagging groceries at the supermarket - palsied now and aggravatingly slow- who helped liberate a Nazi death camp and who wishes all day long that his wife were still alive to hold him when the nightmares come.
He is an ordinary and yet an extraordinary human being a person who offered some of his life's most vital years in the service of his country, and who sacrificed his ambitions so others would not have to sacrifice theirs.
He is a soldier and a savior and a sword against the darkness, and he is nothing more than the finest, greatest testimony on behalf of the finest, greatest nation ever known.
So remember, each time you see someone who has served our country, just lean over and say Thank You. That's all most people need, and in most cases it will mean more than any medals they could have been awarded or were awarded. Two little words that mean a lot, THANK YOU. Remember November 11th is Veterans Day!
He is the cop on the beat who spent six months in Saudi Arabia sweating two gallons a day making sure the armored personnel carriers didn't run out of fuel.
He is the barroom loudmouth, dumber than five wooden planks, whose overgrown frat-boy behavior is outweighed a hundred times over in the cosmic scales by four hours of exquisite bravery near the 38th parallel.
She -or he- is the nurse who fought against futility and went to sleep sobbing every night for two solid years in Da Nang.
He is the POW who went away one person and came back another, or didn't come back AT ALL.
He is the Quantico drill instructor who has never seen combat, but has saved countless lives by turning slouchy, no-account rednecks and gang members into Marines, and teaching them to watch each other's backs.
He is the parade-riding Legionnaire who pins on his ribbons and medals with a prosthetic hand.
He is the career quartermaster who watches the ribbons and medals pass him by.
He is the three anonymous heroes in The Tomb Of The Unknowns, whose Presence at the Arlington National Cemetery must forever preserve the memory of all the anonymous heroes whose valor dies unrecognized with them on the battlefield or in the ocean's sunless deep.
He is the old guy bagging groceries at the supermarket - palsied now and aggravatingly slow- who helped liberate a Nazi death camp and who wishes all day long that his wife were still alive to hold him when the nightmares come.
He is an ordinary and yet an extraordinary human being a person who offered some of his life's most vital years in the service of his country, and who sacrificed his ambitions so others would not have to sacrifice theirs.
He is a soldier and a savior and a sword against the darkness, and he is nothing more than the finest, greatest testimony on behalf of the finest, greatest nation ever known.
So remember, each time you see someone who has served our country, just lean over and say Thank You. That's all most people need, and in most cases it will mean more than any medals they could have been awarded or were awarded. Two little words that mean a lot, THANK YOU. Remember November 11th is Veterans Day!
Thursday, November 10, 2005
I got to see my ovaries today!
I had left work early to see a "reproductive specialist" at KU Med. Center. We are hoping to spawn sometimes in the future, so one of the first steps to getting this done is to see the doctor who will facilitate the procedure that'll make me "with child".
The doctor was this chubby lady in her 50's, blond and kind of bubbly. She explained how the procedures are done, how many tries it can take for a person to get preggars, and the last thing to do was to look my reproductive system on a ultrasound, to make sure that everything is there.
The doctor had a rod-like instrument, to which she lubricated the tip with some ky jelly, and proceeded to insert about an inch into my private. Not trained to view the insides of the body with ultrasound, I thought my uterus looked like a rocky cavern (kind of helped that everything is in black and white), the doctor rotated the rod and searched for images of my ovaries, and they both looked robust and full of eggs...guess that means that I'm ripe for reproduction!
I've got to pick sperms, that's a dilemma in itself.
Make sure that we can bring the kid(s) safely into this world.
Be patient, resourceful, and try to be ready to protect the kid from the stigma of having two mommies.
Love the kid(s) and pray to God that he/she won't shoot you because you gave him/her a curfew.
The GF got into the phlebotemy program that she wanted to get into, and I'm really happy for her! I just hope that she won't use me too much to practice her newfound skills!
The doctor was this chubby lady in her 50's, blond and kind of bubbly. She explained how the procedures are done, how many tries it can take for a person to get preggars, and the last thing to do was to look my reproductive system on a ultrasound, to make sure that everything is there.
The doctor had a rod-like instrument, to which she lubricated the tip with some ky jelly, and proceeded to insert about an inch into my private. Not trained to view the insides of the body with ultrasound, I thought my uterus looked like a rocky cavern (kind of helped that everything is in black and white), the doctor rotated the rod and searched for images of my ovaries, and they both looked robust and full of eggs...guess that means that I'm ripe for reproduction!
I've got to pick sperms, that's a dilemma in itself.
Make sure that we can bring the kid(s) safely into this world.
Be patient, resourceful, and try to be ready to protect the kid from the stigma of having two mommies.
Love the kid(s) and pray to God that he/she won't shoot you because you gave him/her a curfew.
The GF got into the phlebotemy program that she wanted to get into, and I'm really happy for her! I just hope that she won't use me too much to practice her newfound skills!
You know you've been in Iraq for too long when....
This was from Sgt. Lizzie's latest entry, and I must agree....
You Know you have been in Iraq too Long "When "
When mortars land near your compound and you roll over in bed and think "still way off, I got another 5 minutes"
* When you start humming with the Arabic song playing on the radio on the shuttle bus
* Every woman that reports to your unit starts looking attractive
* Every guy that reports to your unit starts looking attractive
* You walk an extra 6 blocks to eat at the KBR (contractor run) dining facility to have the exact same food they are serving in your dining facility because you think it tastes better
* You actually volunteer for convoy security duty because you still haven't seen the country yet
* You start picturing your wife in traditional Arab dress
* The contractors have more fire power than the military combat units. (This is true)
* You take the time to add your lines to this list
* You've spent $200 dollars at Haji mart on DVDs buying Basic Instinct, 9 and ½ weeks, and Body of Evidence just for the sex scenes
* You drink the water from the tap because you want to drop 20 pounds in two weeks
* Driving around in SUVs with weapons pointed out the windows and forcing cars off the road seems very normal to you
* You can put your body armor and helmet on in the dark in under 5 seconds
* When the organization you work for has changed its name more than 3 times
* When you can actually talk to people in the United States on a cell phone, yet you can't get people on their cell phone a block away
* When you actually spend more time writing e-mail about the dog in the compound versus how to conduct the fight in Najaf
* Your idea of a fun Thursday night is to go to the Palace pool to watch the State Department folks get drunk, naked and try to pick each other up
* When you actually get excited to get a package that contains 3 pair of socks, 12 bars of soap and a Victoria Secret Catalog
* When you start to enjoy the rocking of the trailer every time the MEDEVAC choppers fly over
* You memorized every episode from the 4th Season of Sex in the City
* You enjoy the audience commentary while watching a movie bought at Haji mart
* You see celebratory fire going over the compound at night and think, "wow the colors are so pretty" and want to fire back
* Your thinking of buying real estate in the green zone
* Your idea of sex is 20 minutes of Instant Messaging with your wife on the computer, OK, 10 minutes, who are you kidding?
* You wake up and think Baghdad, I am still in friggin Baghdad
* You make the new guy show you his count down timer just to make you feel better about your time you have left in country
* You're in the Army and you start saying Ooorah
* You're in the Marines and you start saying Hooah
* You're in the Navy and you realize you are in the middle of the desert, the exact opposite of being in the middle of the ocean, where one might normally find the Navy.
* You're in the Air Force, and you're on the plane home because an Air Force tour is too short to have been a long Iraq tour. Ignore this list, zoomie, you won't get it.
* You only notice the stench of Haji funk when its not there
* You plan on removing all trees and grass in your yard when you get home so it will look more natural
* You forget there are other colors than brown that can be found in places other than power point slides
* The temp drops down to 102 degrees and you shiver while reaching for your Gortex jacket
* You have noticed a change of season, from long, hot and dry to short, cold and wet.
* When you call home and your kids ask "Who is this?"
* You call home and your wife says hello Bill (your name is Sam)
* When you go on R&R, you duct tape your child to the roof of your car, hand him a pellet rifle, and assign him a sector of fire for the ride to "The Olive Garden."
* When you can comfortably shave and brush your teeth using bottled water, but don't mind showering in the "non-potable" local water.
* While on R&R, you look out the window and find Nature, which leads you to wonder who stole your sandbags.
* When some of the contractors wear their DCUs (Desert pattern camouflage uniform) more properly than some of your soldiers.
* When 12 hours is a short work day
* When, During the BUA, "DIV asked MNSTC-I for the FRAGO that MNC-I was supposed to publish, but couldn't because MNF-I hadn't weighed in, since they were too inundated with MOD and MOI war-gaming the JCCs
within the ISF to square us away!" is a valid comment and generates no questions.
* When you start using words like G'day mate, Cheers, and Bloody hell as part of your normal vocabulary
* When you have your opinions printed in the STARS and STRIPES more than 3 times
* When the palace catches fire and instead of helping to put it out you grab a bag of marshmallows and start roasting
* When you step into any office and there are 6 colonels, 12 lieutenant colonels, 15 majors, and 8 captains supervising the work of 1 sergeant
* When you end every phone conversation with "Out"
* When you're ordered to get an air mission together on short notice because it's a "Hot priority" only to have the Major call back once he is in the air to ask "Does anyone know where I am going?"
* When the weapon buyback program has become so successful that you have issued the same AK-47 to the Iraqi army 3 times
* When you can actually tell the difference between the sound of an exploding car and an exploding mortar
* When on R & R you tell your wife that your weapon status is Red and your looking for the clearing barrel
* When on R&R you go to Church and wonder why no one is wearing body armor or carrying an automatic weapon to the service
* You see an indirect fire attack take out a generator and get angry at the enemy for not hitting the one that powers your computer
* You see an indirect fire attack take out an air conditioner and your vigor to fight is renewed
* You yell at the FNG for shouting incoming when the rounds don't impact close enough to hit your tent with dirt
* You know that you need to run inside immediately after any win of an Iraqi sports team to keep from being hit by celebratory fire
* You decide for that for poops and grins - lets take a run around Lost Lake at Camp Victory to see if we can get shot at by the sniper
* You never worry about oversleeping because if the morning call to prayers doesn't wake you, the daily 0430 mortar attack will (most mornings)
* The highlight of your shopping experience at the PX is to see that they got in a new shipment of Schick Tracer razor blades
* When you send out your laundry and your whites become grayer, your blacks become grayer and your DCU's become grayer - makes it easier to sort loads...
* You get offended by people wearing clean, pressed DCU's
* You decide that it is a better course of action to pull your blankets over your head than put on your body armor during a mortar attack - the woobee will save you and at least you are comfortable
* You make a contest out of seeing who can wear their uniform for more days before becoming entirely disgusted with themselves
* You wonder if the fish served at dinner really was carp caught out of the Tigris or Camp Victory's lake
* You find it completely acceptable to pick your nose while talking to a complete stranger or member of the opposite sex
* A rocket or a mortar really isn't a big deal until the crater it leaves is big enough to trip over in the dark on the way to the latrine
* You go to a social gathering and intermittent gun fire or explosions don't even cause a pause in the conversation
You Know you have been in Iraq too Long "When "
When mortars land near your compound and you roll over in bed and think "still way off, I got another 5 minutes"
* When you start humming with the Arabic song playing on the radio on the shuttle bus
* Every woman that reports to your unit starts looking attractive
* Every guy that reports to your unit starts looking attractive
* You walk an extra 6 blocks to eat at the KBR (contractor run) dining facility to have the exact same food they are serving in your dining facility because you think it tastes better
* You actually volunteer for convoy security duty because you still haven't seen the country yet
* You start picturing your wife in traditional Arab dress
* The contractors have more fire power than the military combat units. (This is true)
* You take the time to add your lines to this list
* You've spent $200 dollars at Haji mart on DVDs buying Basic Instinct, 9 and ½ weeks, and Body of Evidence just for the sex scenes
* You drink the water from the tap because you want to drop 20 pounds in two weeks
* Driving around in SUVs with weapons pointed out the windows and forcing cars off the road seems very normal to you
* You can put your body armor and helmet on in the dark in under 5 seconds
* When the organization you work for has changed its name more than 3 times
* When you can actually talk to people in the United States on a cell phone, yet you can't get people on their cell phone a block away
* When you actually spend more time writing e-mail about the dog in the compound versus how to conduct the fight in Najaf
* Your idea of a fun Thursday night is to go to the Palace pool to watch the State Department folks get drunk, naked and try to pick each other up
* When you actually get excited to get a package that contains 3 pair of socks, 12 bars of soap and a Victoria Secret Catalog
* When you start to enjoy the rocking of the trailer every time the MEDEVAC choppers fly over
* You memorized every episode from the 4th Season of Sex in the City
* You enjoy the audience commentary while watching a movie bought at Haji mart
* You see celebratory fire going over the compound at night and think, "wow the colors are so pretty" and want to fire back
* Your thinking of buying real estate in the green zone
* Your idea of sex is 20 minutes of Instant Messaging with your wife on the computer, OK, 10 minutes, who are you kidding?
* You wake up and think Baghdad, I am still in friggin Baghdad
* You make the new guy show you his count down timer just to make you feel better about your time you have left in country
* You're in the Army and you start saying Ooorah
* You're in the Marines and you start saying Hooah
* You're in the Navy and you realize you are in the middle of the desert, the exact opposite of being in the middle of the ocean, where one might normally find the Navy.
* You're in the Air Force, and you're on the plane home because an Air Force tour is too short to have been a long Iraq tour. Ignore this list, zoomie, you won't get it.
* You only notice the stench of Haji funk when its not there
* You plan on removing all trees and grass in your yard when you get home so it will look more natural
* You forget there are other colors than brown that can be found in places other than power point slides
* The temp drops down to 102 degrees and you shiver while reaching for your Gortex jacket
* You have noticed a change of season, from long, hot and dry to short, cold and wet.
* When you call home and your kids ask "Who is this?"
* You call home and your wife says hello Bill (your name is Sam)
* When you go on R&R, you duct tape your child to the roof of your car, hand him a pellet rifle, and assign him a sector of fire for the ride to "The Olive Garden."
* When you can comfortably shave and brush your teeth using bottled water, but don't mind showering in the "non-potable" local water.
* While on R&R, you look out the window and find Nature, which leads you to wonder who stole your sandbags.
* When some of the contractors wear their DCUs (Desert pattern camouflage uniform) more properly than some of your soldiers.
* When 12 hours is a short work day
* When, During the BUA, "DIV asked MNSTC-I for the FRAGO that MNC-I was supposed to publish, but couldn't because MNF-I hadn't weighed in, since they were too inundated with MOD and MOI war-gaming the JCCs
within the ISF to square us away!" is a valid comment and generates no questions.
* When you start using words like G'day mate, Cheers, and Bloody hell as part of your normal vocabulary
* When you have your opinions printed in the STARS and STRIPES more than 3 times
* When the palace catches fire and instead of helping to put it out you grab a bag of marshmallows and start roasting
* When you step into any office and there are 6 colonels, 12 lieutenant colonels, 15 majors, and 8 captains supervising the work of 1 sergeant
* When you end every phone conversation with "Out"
* When you're ordered to get an air mission together on short notice because it's a "Hot priority" only to have the Major call back once he is in the air to ask "Does anyone know where I am going?"
* When the weapon buyback program has become so successful that you have issued the same AK-47 to the Iraqi army 3 times
* When you can actually tell the difference between the sound of an exploding car and an exploding mortar
* When on R & R you tell your wife that your weapon status is Red and your looking for the clearing barrel
* When on R&R you go to Church and wonder why no one is wearing body armor or carrying an automatic weapon to the service
* You see an indirect fire attack take out a generator and get angry at the enemy for not hitting the one that powers your computer
* You see an indirect fire attack take out an air conditioner and your vigor to fight is renewed
* You yell at the FNG for shouting incoming when the rounds don't impact close enough to hit your tent with dirt
* You know that you need to run inside immediately after any win of an Iraqi sports team to keep from being hit by celebratory fire
* You decide for that for poops and grins - lets take a run around Lost Lake at Camp Victory to see if we can get shot at by the sniper
* You never worry about oversleeping because if the morning call to prayers doesn't wake you, the daily 0430 mortar attack will (most mornings)
* The highlight of your shopping experience at the PX is to see that they got in a new shipment of Schick Tracer razor blades
* When you send out your laundry and your whites become grayer, your blacks become grayer and your DCU's become grayer - makes it easier to sort loads...
* You get offended by people wearing clean, pressed DCU's
* You decide that it is a better course of action to pull your blankets over your head than put on your body armor during a mortar attack - the woobee will save you and at least you are comfortable
* You make a contest out of seeing who can wear their uniform for more days before becoming entirely disgusted with themselves
* You wonder if the fish served at dinner really was carp caught out of the Tigris or Camp Victory's lake
* You find it completely acceptable to pick your nose while talking to a complete stranger or member of the opposite sex
* A rocket or a mortar really isn't a big deal until the crater it leaves is big enough to trip over in the dark on the way to the latrine
* You go to a social gathering and intermittent gun fire or explosions don't even cause a pause in the conversation
Monday, November 07, 2005
For Hakim
إلى الحكيم :
أكتب فقط لإخبارك عن كمّ أخطأتك . هو كان بعض الشّيء أكثر من سنة واحدة منذ آخر مرّة قد قلنا إلى اللّقاء . لم أعتقد أبدًا أننيّ لن أرى أبدًا أو أسمع منك ثانية بعد أن عدت من الموصل
آمل أنّك الآن في الجنّة, حيث يسعى كلّ الرّجال الجيّدون بعد أن قد أبلغوا, مهمًّا كان مأساويّ و عنيف السيركومستا آمل أنّك الآن في الجنّة, حيث يسعى كلّ الرّجال الجيّدون بعد أن قد أبلغوا, مهمًّا كان مأساويّ و عنيف السيركومستا
آمل أنّك الآن في الجنّة, حيث يسعى كلّ الرّجال الجيّدون بعد أن قد أبلغوا, مهمًّا كان مأساويّ و عنيف السيركومستا
آمل أنّك الآن في الجنّة, حيث يسعى كلّ الرّجال الجيّدون بعد أن قد أبلغوا, مهمًّا كان مأساويّ و عنيف السيركومستا
آمل أنّك الآن في الجنّة, حيث يسعى كلّ الرّجال الجيّدون بعد أن قد أبلغوا, مهمًّا كان مأساويّ و عنيف السيركومستا
الحبّ,
أكتب فقط لإخبارك عن كمّ أخطأتك . هو كان بعض الشّيء أكثر من سنة واحدة منذ آخر مرّة قد قلنا إلى اللّقاء . لم أعتقد أبدًا أننيّ لن أرى أبدًا أو أسمع منك ثانية بعد أن عدت من الموصل
آمل أنّك الآن في الجنّة, حيث يسعى كلّ الرّجال الجيّدون بعد أن قد أبلغوا, مهمًّا كان مأساويّ و عنيف السيركومستا آمل أنّك الآن في الجنّة, حيث يسعى كلّ الرّجال الجيّدون بعد أن قد أبلغوا, مهمًّا كان مأساويّ و عنيف السيركومستا
آمل أنّك الآن في الجنّة, حيث يسعى كلّ الرّجال الجيّدون بعد أن قد أبلغوا, مهمًّا كان مأساويّ و عنيف السيركومستا
آمل أنّك الآن في الجنّة, حيث يسعى كلّ الرّجال الجيّدون بعد أن قد أبلغوا, مهمًّا كان مأساويّ و عنيف السيركومستا
آمل أنّك الآن في الجنّة, حيث يسعى كلّ الرّجال الجيّدون بعد أن قد أبلغوا, مهمًّا كان مأساويّ و عنيف السيركومستا
الحبّ,
Saturday, November 05, 2005
My first bike race
For thoese of you who might not know, I like to ride my bicycles from time to time. I've got a purple road bike, and I've also got a hybrid, purchased for me by my GF, back a few years ago. I'd take the purple bike out on road rides, and I always ride with some people so that I wouldn't get lost.
There's a bike shop in downtown Leavenworth and the owners of the shop have been very nice to me, and they are true lovers of the sport of cycling. Many of his customers are the grad. students at the officer grad. school on post. These officers and very competitive and going on rides with them would always end with me finishing last. Not being competitive in nature, I didn't mind it, what I did mind was that most of the riders were sort of stand-offish, if you said hi to them, no gurantee that they'll even pay attention to you. So I stopped riding with them for a while.
Shift forward a few months, another class of army grad. students have started class, and the weather is also getting colder as fall approaches. I went back to the bike shop to say hello and get my bike tuned. (I've been riding around the military post from time to time, by myself, it's lonly, but I don't really have to deal with egos.)
The owner of the shop then planted the seed in my head that I should try to at first, ride 25 miles with another group of people (You could read about that in the previous entries), and then enter myself in a cyclecross race, since it'll be "fun" and "easy".
I dragged my GF and the dog after breakfast this morning, and we headed to the local high school. We got there and saw so many racers, all well equipped with their thousand dollars bikes and cycling attires. I've got my cut-off bdu shorts, long sleeve shirt and helmet. I hastly got registered, paid a small fee (the cycling federation has to find a way to make some $), and ran to get my bike to the starting line.
There were only two people in my catagory, the beginners, while the rest are experienced racers, and from what I've heard, they came from just about everywhere, not just Kansas and Missouri.
What did I do on the first downhill? I flipped over my handlebar and hit my head, knee, thigh, and ab on the grassy ground. The GF saw everything and wondered why didn't I just quit, I thought that might be too melodramatic, so I opted to stay in and finish the race, even though my bike was wrecked and I had to carry my bike or walk most of the course, taking the bike downhills and riding the flat part.
I thought that I was bledding from my head, since blood and sweat sort of tasted the same, of course, I didn't have time to care, there were a lot of panting and re-tasting of breakfast to do, aside from trying to finish the race.
I was done after 2 laps around the course, and at 23 minutes, there were pretty much no more time for me to do another lap (are you kidding?) I grabbed the free water and gatorade from the sponsor's cooler.
I did get a medal, not because I was fast, not because I had the most spectacular fall (there wasn't a catagory like that), but for the very fact that there were only two people in my catagory.
Still I was proud of my battle wounds, and gaining the knowledge of what a cyclocross race was like. (Like a cross-country bike race) Would I do it again? Maybe, eventually, and this time with my bike better tuned.
There's a bike shop in downtown Leavenworth and the owners of the shop have been very nice to me, and they are true lovers of the sport of cycling. Many of his customers are the grad. students at the officer grad. school on post. These officers and very competitive and going on rides with them would always end with me finishing last. Not being competitive in nature, I didn't mind it, what I did mind was that most of the riders were sort of stand-offish, if you said hi to them, no gurantee that they'll even pay attention to you. So I stopped riding with them for a while.
Shift forward a few months, another class of army grad. students have started class, and the weather is also getting colder as fall approaches. I went back to the bike shop to say hello and get my bike tuned. (I've been riding around the military post from time to time, by myself, it's lonly, but I don't really have to deal with egos.)
The owner of the shop then planted the seed in my head that I should try to at first, ride 25 miles with another group of people (You could read about that in the previous entries), and then enter myself in a cyclecross race, since it'll be "fun" and "easy".
I dragged my GF and the dog after breakfast this morning, and we headed to the local high school. We got there and saw so many racers, all well equipped with their thousand dollars bikes and cycling attires. I've got my cut-off bdu shorts, long sleeve shirt and helmet. I hastly got registered, paid a small fee (the cycling federation has to find a way to make some $), and ran to get my bike to the starting line.
There were only two people in my catagory, the beginners, while the rest are experienced racers, and from what I've heard, they came from just about everywhere, not just Kansas and Missouri.
What did I do on the first downhill? I flipped over my handlebar and hit my head, knee, thigh, and ab on the grassy ground. The GF saw everything and wondered why didn't I just quit, I thought that might be too melodramatic, so I opted to stay in and finish the race, even though my bike was wrecked and I had to carry my bike or walk most of the course, taking the bike downhills and riding the flat part.
I thought that I was bledding from my head, since blood and sweat sort of tasted the same, of course, I didn't have time to care, there were a lot of panting and re-tasting of breakfast to do, aside from trying to finish the race.
I was done after 2 laps around the course, and at 23 minutes, there were pretty much no more time for me to do another lap (are you kidding?) I grabbed the free water and gatorade from the sponsor's cooler.
I did get a medal, not because I was fast, not because I had the most spectacular fall (there wasn't a catagory like that), but for the very fact that there were only two people in my catagory.
Still I was proud of my battle wounds, and gaining the knowledge of what a cyclocross race was like. (Like a cross-country bike race) Would I do it again? Maybe, eventually, and this time with my bike better tuned.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
In the midst of preparing for the holidays, please don't forget those who are still out there....
Luck runs out in 'Triangle of Death'
Unit commanders shared great responsibility, greater worries
By Cal Perry
CNN
Monday, October 31, 2005; Posted: 10:03 p.m. EST (03:03 GMT)
Editor's note: CNN producer Cal Perry is embedded with the U.S. Army's 3rd Armored Cavalry Regiment, 3rd Infantry Division, Forward Operating Base Falcon.
NORTHERN BABIL PROVINCE, Iraq (CNN) -- The two men were good friends at Forward Operating Base Falcon in Babil province, each commanding units at the base in what's called Iraq's "Triangle of Death."
Col. William Wood and Lt. Col. Ross Brown exchanged gifts recently, said Sgt. Kim Bradshaw.
He couldn't say what the gifts were, just the kind of things soldiers with great responsibility and even greater worries share on a battlefield.
That's why the events of October 27 hit so hard.
Northern Babil province is vast farmland divided by a series of canals with narrow roads running alongside.
The members of the 3rd Armored Cavalry Regiment patrol in Bradley fighting vehicles and Humvees, wary of the roadside bombs that have taken so many lives in Iraq, including those of four members of the 3rd ACR who died when an explosion knocked a Bradley into a canal.
Those were just four of the 14 deaths suffered by the 3rd ACR in 45 days during the summer.
On October 27, Brown led a patrol of two Bradleys and one Humvee along Route "Tampa," a highway in the sense that it is wider than the paths that pose the biggest danger for roadside bombs. "Tampa" links Babil province to Baghdad.
As he prepared the patrol that day, Brown asked his soldiers what they carry out with them for protection -- not meaning the usual flack jackets, Kevlar helmets, M-16s and grenades -- but pieces of so-called "luck" from home.
Among the pieces brought out -- a Bible, a folded prayer, pictures of loved ones, the patron saint of soldiers and the ever-present "charm" candy found in MREs (meals ready to eat).
Three bombs had exploded along the route the day before.
Shops line only one side of the road. They are tiny and poor -- hastily made of splintered plywood and nails, the better ones with an overhang for shade, all with little or no business to speak of. The business plan seems to be the hope that traffic will back up so much that frustrated motorists will stop by for a drink or a snack.
The makeshift shops had closed before the previous day's explosions, an obvious sign to Brown that the shopkeepers knew the attacks were planned.
As he talked to each shopkeeper -- making his way methodically down the road -- it became obvious that he was not going to get any answers to help protect his soldiers from further violence. Each shopkeeper told Brown they weren't present the day of the explosions.
Brown knew better. Bradshaw was among the responders a day earlier, and he had seen the shops were closed.
Brown walked back and forth with the owners, threatening to shut down the shops, all the while continuing to catch the shopkeepers in similar and equally questionable statements. Finally, he walked away from the shops and spoke to Bradshaw.
"How can I make them fear me more than the insurgency?" the commander asked.
This question is at the center of the problems faced by the U.S. military every day across Iraq.
Bradshaw responded, "They're all lying -- and they're scared to death."
"Of course," Brown said. "And they know that -- unlike the insurgency -- we're not going to take them out into the street and shoot them. They know we're here temporarily, and they have to live with these people forever."
Getting back in the Bradleys to move out of the area, Brown said he didn't know if he was going to shut down the shops.
"I need to think about it some more," he said, shaking his head in near disgust as he climbed back into his Bradley.
Brown is a firm believer that his men are making a difference in Iraq, that they are true heroes. But he's not without his superstitions.
Later that day, after much prodding, he begrudgingly brought out his personal pieces of "luck" that protect him on missions -- two personal notes from his son and daughter. In a small plastic bag, the note from his daughter reads, "come home ASAP."
Moments after Brown shared these personal items, the bad news came across the radios.
Wood had been killed about a kilometer south of Brown's position. Wood -- a regular Army officer assigned to command the 1st Battalion, 184th Infantry Regiment, a National Guard outfit from California -- was directing his men on a road that had been a bombing site moments earlier.
He was giving orders when his luck ran out. A secondary explosion killed him, blowing him backward into one of the canals.
At the time of his death, he did not know that he was about to be promoted -- from lieutenant colonel to colonel.
Wood was the highest-ranking U.S. officer to die in combat in Iraq
Luck runs out in 'Triangle of Death'
Unit commanders shared great responsibility, greater worries
By Cal Perry
CNN
Monday, October 31, 2005; Posted: 10:03 p.m. EST (03:03 GMT)
Editor's note: CNN producer Cal Perry is embedded with the U.S. Army's 3rd Armored Cavalry Regiment, 3rd Infantry Division, Forward Operating Base Falcon.
NORTHERN BABIL PROVINCE, Iraq (CNN) -- The two men were good friends at Forward Operating Base Falcon in Babil province, each commanding units at the base in what's called Iraq's "Triangle of Death."
Col. William Wood and Lt. Col. Ross Brown exchanged gifts recently, said Sgt. Kim Bradshaw.
He couldn't say what the gifts were, just the kind of things soldiers with great responsibility and even greater worries share on a battlefield.
That's why the events of October 27 hit so hard.
Northern Babil province is vast farmland divided by a series of canals with narrow roads running alongside.
The members of the 3rd Armored Cavalry Regiment patrol in Bradley fighting vehicles and Humvees, wary of the roadside bombs that have taken so many lives in Iraq, including those of four members of the 3rd ACR who died when an explosion knocked a Bradley into a canal.
Those were just four of the 14 deaths suffered by the 3rd ACR in 45 days during the summer.
On October 27, Brown led a patrol of two Bradleys and one Humvee along Route "Tampa," a highway in the sense that it is wider than the paths that pose the biggest danger for roadside bombs. "Tampa" links Babil province to Baghdad.
As he prepared the patrol that day, Brown asked his soldiers what they carry out with them for protection -- not meaning the usual flack jackets, Kevlar helmets, M-16s and grenades -- but pieces of so-called "luck" from home.
Among the pieces brought out -- a Bible, a folded prayer, pictures of loved ones, the patron saint of soldiers and the ever-present "charm" candy found in MREs (meals ready to eat).
Three bombs had exploded along the route the day before.
Shops line only one side of the road. They are tiny and poor -- hastily made of splintered plywood and nails, the better ones with an overhang for shade, all with little or no business to speak of. The business plan seems to be the hope that traffic will back up so much that frustrated motorists will stop by for a drink or a snack.
The makeshift shops had closed before the previous day's explosions, an obvious sign to Brown that the shopkeepers knew the attacks were planned.
As he talked to each shopkeeper -- making his way methodically down the road -- it became obvious that he was not going to get any answers to help protect his soldiers from further violence. Each shopkeeper told Brown they weren't present the day of the explosions.
Brown knew better. Bradshaw was among the responders a day earlier, and he had seen the shops were closed.
Brown walked back and forth with the owners, threatening to shut down the shops, all the while continuing to catch the shopkeepers in similar and equally questionable statements. Finally, he walked away from the shops and spoke to Bradshaw.
"How can I make them fear me more than the insurgency?" the commander asked.
This question is at the center of the problems faced by the U.S. military every day across Iraq.
Bradshaw responded, "They're all lying -- and they're scared to death."
"Of course," Brown said. "And they know that -- unlike the insurgency -- we're not going to take them out into the street and shoot them. They know we're here temporarily, and they have to live with these people forever."
Getting back in the Bradleys to move out of the area, Brown said he didn't know if he was going to shut down the shops.
"I need to think about it some more," he said, shaking his head in near disgust as he climbed back into his Bradley.
Brown is a firm believer that his men are making a difference in Iraq, that they are true heroes. But he's not without his superstitions.
Later that day, after much prodding, he begrudgingly brought out his personal pieces of "luck" that protect him on missions -- two personal notes from his son and daughter. In a small plastic bag, the note from his daughter reads, "come home ASAP."
Moments after Brown shared these personal items, the bad news came across the radios.
Wood had been killed about a kilometer south of Brown's position. Wood -- a regular Army officer assigned to command the 1st Battalion, 184th Infantry Regiment, a National Guard outfit from California -- was directing his men on a road that had been a bombing site moments earlier.
He was giving orders when his luck ran out. A secondary explosion killed him, blowing him backward into one of the canals.
At the time of his death, he did not know that he was about to be promoted -- from lieutenant colonel to colonel.
Wood was the highest-ranking U.S. officer to die in combat in Iraq
Sunday, October 30, 2005
The weekend
The first thing that I did on Sat. morning was to go on a 25 mile bike ride with the group of people that I used to go biking with. I dropped out of that group several months ago because I just wasn't enjoying the fact that many of them were amateur cyclists/triathletes who were riding as if they were mad at the world. I'd ended up getting dropped on rides, but the worst thing was that there were very few people who were friendly enough to even say hello back to you.
But I thought that I'd give it a try again to see if things were better, because with the change of class at the military grad. school (on the post where I work at), you've got a different set of people. As expected, I was way the heck in the back of the back, but there was this lady who was nice enough to make sure that I didn't just fall into the oblivion. When we can, we chatted about our backgrounds (she was a fmr. air force officer who married another office, got out of the military, and is now doing the housewife/mother/triathlete thing.) That made the ride a lot more bearable, with a few people dropping out of the ride early, I didn't feel like a loser at all.
I don't think everyone rides their bikes because they wanted to be the next Lance Armstrong, I just wanted to have a less painful way of exercise and to enjoy the scenery.
Later in the afternoon, the GF and I went to the rodeo/Terri Clark concert. I'm a fan of the rodeo, even oftentimes, I'm the only Asian there. This time though, the performances were dulled by the annoying voices of the announcers, or maybe I'm just getting old. The volume of the speakers were just a tad bit too loud. The highlight of the whole thing were probably the rodeo clown performance, and the little sheep riding kids, they were adorable!
Terri Clark went through her songs like that of a medly, and I felt like that she really had somewhere else better to be (the arena wasn't packed, some people left before the concernt even started.), and the GF and I got really tired so we left midway of the concert. (at the rate that she was going through the songs, the concert was probably near its end anyways.)
Now it's Sunday morning, and a lot colder today than it was yesterday, time to stay in the house and bundle up! I think we should buy a whole bunch of candies, even if there aren't going to be kids trick o' treating around here, and just eat them until we go into diabetic shock!
But I thought that I'd give it a try again to see if things were better, because with the change of class at the military grad. school (on the post where I work at), you've got a different set of people. As expected, I was way the heck in the back of the back, but there was this lady who was nice enough to make sure that I didn't just fall into the oblivion. When we can, we chatted about our backgrounds (she was a fmr. air force officer who married another office, got out of the military, and is now doing the housewife/mother/triathlete thing.) That made the ride a lot more bearable, with a few people dropping out of the ride early, I didn't feel like a loser at all.
I don't think everyone rides their bikes because they wanted to be the next Lance Armstrong, I just wanted to have a less painful way of exercise and to enjoy the scenery.
Later in the afternoon, the GF and I went to the rodeo/Terri Clark concert. I'm a fan of the rodeo, even oftentimes, I'm the only Asian there. This time though, the performances were dulled by the annoying voices of the announcers, or maybe I'm just getting old. The volume of the speakers were just a tad bit too loud. The highlight of the whole thing were probably the rodeo clown performance, and the little sheep riding kids, they were adorable!
Terri Clark went through her songs like that of a medly, and I felt like that she really had somewhere else better to be (the arena wasn't packed, some people left before the concernt even started.), and the GF and I got really tired so we left midway of the concert. (at the rate that she was going through the songs, the concert was probably near its end anyways.)
Now it's Sunday morning, and a lot colder today than it was yesterday, time to stay in the house and bundle up! I think we should buy a whole bunch of candies, even if there aren't going to be kids trick o' treating around here, and just eat them until we go into diabetic shock!
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Went to dinner at one of the local chain restaurants with two friends from work. The two friends brought two guys from this conference that our workplace has been hosting. One of the guys is a physical therapist who is in a national guard unit in Arizona, doing intel. work, and another guy is a army intel. guy, living and working in San Antonio. The PT guy looked like a taller, thinner and older version of Chris Klein, and the other guy is a slightly chubby white guy who's just kinda pasty looking.
Not really having been in the conference, I had no clues about what went on, and sensing that was what they were talking about, the GF and I just sat and ate our food. I INHALED my food, maybe it was because the weather, I have been feeling hungry all the time and nothing could fill my stomach up.
My friends were just chatting along and laughing at these jokes that I didn't quite get, yet the topics never stayed away from military related matters. It goes with the territory, since most of the people at the table are military or have been. (Even the GF spent a few minutes herself in the naval reserves.)
It also could be from the fact that I didn't know much about the two guests from the conference, but all of a sudden I thought to myself, how boring, will all my friends from now on be from the military? I've been able to make friends at just about everywhere that I've been to, whether or not I was a private or a call center slave, but overall, my track record for making friends has been better in the military. I'm not talking about lifelong friends, that's a whole other blog altogether!
Maybe I'm being picky about people and I will suffer the consequences for it. I guess I miss having friends who are multi-dimensional and not talk about everything in military acronyms. By gosh, I can't even let them know that my GF is more than just a roommate!
I'm kind of worried too that the GF will say something to those military people that'll make them wonder just a little bit more about me than I'd like. I can't not include her in this part of my social life, but it must not feel too good for her either.
Not really having been in the conference, I had no clues about what went on, and sensing that was what they were talking about, the GF and I just sat and ate our food. I INHALED my food, maybe it was because the weather, I have been feeling hungry all the time and nothing could fill my stomach up.
My friends were just chatting along and laughing at these jokes that I didn't quite get, yet the topics never stayed away from military related matters. It goes with the territory, since most of the people at the table are military or have been. (Even the GF spent a few minutes herself in the naval reserves.)
It also could be from the fact that I didn't know much about the two guests from the conference, but all of a sudden I thought to myself, how boring, will all my friends from now on be from the military? I've been able to make friends at just about everywhere that I've been to, whether or not I was a private or a call center slave, but overall, my track record for making friends has been better in the military. I'm not talking about lifelong friends, that's a whole other blog altogether!
Maybe I'm being picky about people and I will suffer the consequences for it. I guess I miss having friends who are multi-dimensional and not talk about everything in military acronyms. By gosh, I can't even let them know that my GF is more than just a roommate!
I'm kind of worried too that the GF will say something to those military people that'll make them wonder just a little bit more about me than I'd like. I can't not include her in this part of my social life, but it must not feel too good for her either.
Monday, October 24, 2005
The Middle by Jimmy Eat World
Sometimes, it sort of all comes down to this...
Hey, don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head you feel left out or
looked down on.
Just try your best, try everything you can.
And don't you worry what they tell themselves when you're away.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the
ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything
(everything) will be alright (alright).
Hey, you know they're all the same.
You know you're doing better on your own, so don't buy in.
Live right now.
Yeah, just be yourself.
It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the
ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything
(everything) will be alright (alright).
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the
ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything
(everything) will be alright (alright).
Hey, don't write yourself off yet.
It's only in your head you feel left out or
looked down on.
Just do your best, do everything you can.
And don't you worry what the bitter hearts are gonna say.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the
ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything
(everything) will be alright (alright).
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the
ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything
(everything) will be alright (alright).
Hey, don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head you feel left out or
looked down on.
Just try your best, try everything you can.
And don't you worry what they tell themselves when you're away.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the
ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything
(everything) will be alright (alright).
Hey, you know they're all the same.
You know you're doing better on your own, so don't buy in.
Live right now.
Yeah, just be yourself.
It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the
ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything
(everything) will be alright (alright).
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the
ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything
(everything) will be alright (alright).
Hey, don't write yourself off yet.
It's only in your head you feel left out or
looked down on.
Just do your best, do everything you can.
And don't you worry what the bitter hearts are gonna say.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the
ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything
(everything) will be alright (alright).
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the
ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything
(everything) will be alright (alright).
Saturday, October 22, 2005
The latest
We finally had to put socks on the rear paws of the dog, he has been suffering this bout of allergy/obsessive-conpulsive paw licking syndrome. I think he'd be better off with the right medication, but we live in a small town where vets are not on call all the time, I mean, we are talking about vets who take two days off a week and take long lunch breaks, and that's both on the military and civilian sides.
I've been talking with some of the local reserve units, one was in psychological operations and another was in civil affairs. I almost immediately got put off by the higher than thou attitude displayed by those in charge of the psyop. company. C'mon, I've been in for almost a decade, that whole gung-ho and we're better than everyone else attitude is getting really, really old.
I got a better impression from the civil affairs company, those in charge seem to have a sense of humor, and seem to be able to get their jobs done but not take themselves too seriously in the same light. One of the guys from where I work is from that unit, and he's a extraordinary guy. He was a former marine who juggled work and school, got his master's degree, and while on deployment in Iraq, got his right arm blown off from an IED. He learned to do everything with his left arm (he was a rightie), fought to stay in the service, and now he's an officer. I think that if you are strong enough and open-minded enough, you can actually become a better person through horrible experiences. (Or find out, in the same light, that you are a pretty strong person already.) I don't know if we have that quality in all of us, but he sure did.
If I stay in the service, I'll be sure to get deployed at least once or twice more, whether or not it's Iraq or Afghnistan, and the GF will NOT be happy with that.
I don't really have to stay in the reserves if I don't want to do it anymore, my contract with them will be up officially in March.
Yet there are some things that you just cannot do otherwise in this ordinary life that you could do in a uniform.
We'll see, I don't have to decide right away on this.
The GF is not having any fun at work, there seem to be much confusion and some levels of incompetence. She had to get up around 5-ish in the morning, get out before 6, and not coming back home until at least 6 in the evening. She has been tired and craving sleep. (I remember feeling like that when I first got into Iraq, you're on duty all the time and wasn't a big fan of sleeping on cots.) I hope it'll get better for her soon, like I've said before, we can't both be pooped out and tired at the same time!
A friend from work is due to leave her job at the end of next week, she had gotten a job offer from a very prestigious federal agency and I'm really happy for her, because that was what she wanted. I congratulated her and wished that I can make my break soon too someday soon.
I've been talking with some of the local reserve units, one was in psychological operations and another was in civil affairs. I almost immediately got put off by the higher than thou attitude displayed by those in charge of the psyop. company. C'mon, I've been in for almost a decade, that whole gung-ho and we're better than everyone else attitude is getting really, really old.
I got a better impression from the civil affairs company, those in charge seem to have a sense of humor, and seem to be able to get their jobs done but not take themselves too seriously in the same light. One of the guys from where I work is from that unit, and he's a extraordinary guy. He was a former marine who juggled work and school, got his master's degree, and while on deployment in Iraq, got his right arm blown off from an IED. He learned to do everything with his left arm (he was a rightie), fought to stay in the service, and now he's an officer. I think that if you are strong enough and open-minded enough, you can actually become a better person through horrible experiences. (Or find out, in the same light, that you are a pretty strong person already.) I don't know if we have that quality in all of us, but he sure did.
If I stay in the service, I'll be sure to get deployed at least once or twice more, whether or not it's Iraq or Afghnistan, and the GF will NOT be happy with that.
I don't really have to stay in the reserves if I don't want to do it anymore, my contract with them will be up officially in March.
Yet there are some things that you just cannot do otherwise in this ordinary life that you could do in a uniform.
We'll see, I don't have to decide right away on this.
The GF is not having any fun at work, there seem to be much confusion and some levels of incompetence. She had to get up around 5-ish in the morning, get out before 6, and not coming back home until at least 6 in the evening. She has been tired and craving sleep. (I remember feeling like that when I first got into Iraq, you're on duty all the time and wasn't a big fan of sleeping on cots.) I hope it'll get better for her soon, like I've said before, we can't both be pooped out and tired at the same time!
A friend from work is due to leave her job at the end of next week, she had gotten a job offer from a very prestigious federal agency and I'm really happy for her, because that was what she wanted. I congratulated her and wished that I can make my break soon too someday soon.
Monday, October 17, 2005
Lazy, hazy weekend.
Weekends are great times to catch up on sleep, when you are not feeling quite like that you haven't slept enough during the week. To tell you the truth, I'm probably just really lazy and don't time-manage well. I could have worked out, showered, changed, worked, ate, probably gotten a second work out, and have gotten home before the day is over, and I probably could also have done my work at work at 2x the amount in 1/2 of the time, but let's get real here!
The GF is not used to the early hours of her current job, and is actually feeling physical pain of the toll of the early mornings. I'd feel that way from time to time. There are a lot of people at my workplace, sensing my lack of educational background, are urging me to go back to school. I'm sure that there are ways to achieve that endeavor, but if I'm already feeling as pooped as I do now, over the mid to low physical and mental output, I sure as heck can't imagine getting my ass back to school and trying not to flunk out of it!
We, counting the pets, are just trying our best to live our lives here in the great void called the American Mid-West, and hoping for some kind of betterness or excitement in the future....
The GF is not used to the early hours of her current job, and is actually feeling physical pain of the toll of the early mornings. I'd feel that way from time to time. There are a lot of people at my workplace, sensing my lack of educational background, are urging me to go back to school. I'm sure that there are ways to achieve that endeavor, but if I'm already feeling as pooped as I do now, over the mid to low physical and mental output, I sure as heck can't imagine getting my ass back to school and trying not to flunk out of it!
We, counting the pets, are just trying our best to live our lives here in the great void called the American Mid-West, and hoping for some kind of betterness or excitement in the future....
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
From Colby Buzzell
I purchased "My War, Killing Time in Iraq" and read it in a few days. I then e-mailed the book's author about how I appreciated his recollection and storytelling. Here are the excerpts:
Hey CB!
Just finished reading your book, and you've just about put me right back there! Keep up the good work! I remembered how cold it was when we were at Pacesetter, I think I was with 1 2/3 infantry, A. Co. (I was supposed to be searching females and make sure that they were not armed) when Saddam was caught.
Your honesty about the whole experience is hard to find, any words on a book tour yet?
Are you also back with the Mrs.? (that was something that I didn't know at all, that you were betrothed!)
I've told the folks that I'm working with to go out and get your book (some of the are Iraqi war vets), hope all is well with you, thanks and take care!
His reply:
you rule bro, i hope the book does us justice man, I tried. Yea,
Pacesetter fucking sucked man, no word on a book tour, i told them I
didnt want to do one, guys are still over there and I'd feel fuct
signing and shit while the war still went on. i just wanted to tell
our story, thats it, you know? I hope I accompished that. Yea, me and
da wife are happily married and I'm looking forward to spending the
rest of my life with her. things are cool. Thank again man for
spreading the word about the book, I tried to tell our story, fuck it,
if the media wont, i might as well and try, you know. I hope you enjoy
the rest of the book, and thank you for the support and kind words of
encouragemnt.
thank you
-cb
I think Colby thinks that I'm a dude, and in this case, it's totally alright!
I can totally understand where he's coming from as far as his refusal to do the book tour is concerned, however, I don't think that he'll be doing anyone any disservice by doing a book tour, instead, it'll only highten other peoples' senses about what really went on over there, and I think anyone who's over there right now would have liked that. He has done his time there and played his part, so there should be no guilt about any of it, you know?
Hey CB!
Just finished reading your book, and you've just about put me right back there! Keep up the good work! I remembered how cold it was when we were at Pacesetter, I think I was with 1 2/3 infantry, A. Co. (I was supposed to be searching females and make sure that they were not armed) when Saddam was caught.
Your honesty about the whole experience is hard to find, any words on a book tour yet?
Are you also back with the Mrs.? (that was something that I didn't know at all, that you were betrothed!)
I've told the folks that I'm working with to go out and get your book (some of the are Iraqi war vets), hope all is well with you, thanks and take care!
His reply:
you rule bro, i hope the book does us justice man, I tried. Yea,
Pacesetter fucking sucked man, no word on a book tour, i told them I
didnt want to do one, guys are still over there and I'd feel fuct
signing and shit while the war still went on. i just wanted to tell
our story, thats it, you know? I hope I accompished that. Yea, me and
da wife are happily married and I'm looking forward to spending the
rest of my life with her. things are cool. Thank again man for
spreading the word about the book, I tried to tell our story, fuck it,
if the media wont, i might as well and try, you know. I hope you enjoy
the rest of the book, and thank you for the support and kind words of
encouragemnt.
thank you
-cb
I think Colby thinks that I'm a dude, and in this case, it's totally alright!
I can totally understand where he's coming from as far as his refusal to do the book tour is concerned, however, I don't think that he'll be doing anyone any disservice by doing a book tour, instead, it'll only highten other peoples' senses about what really went on over there, and I think anyone who's over there right now would have liked that. He has done his time there and played his part, so there should be no guilt about any of it, you know?
Friday, October 07, 2005
Iraq war blogs
I am listening to a NPR audio segment about blogs and book deals which results from OIF (Operation Iraqi Freedom). I was really glad to hear Colby Buzzell's voice! His book "My War, Killing Time in Iraq" has just been published and for those of you who are interested in the personal experiences of US soldiers in Iraq, please go and pick youself up a copy! A lot of places that he had been to were also the places that I've been to myself.
Granted that opinions of bloggers can be somewhat biased, depends on who you're reading, but that's the beauty of war accounts, individual experiences were never meant to be agreed upon by all anyways.
Of some of the folks who have been deployed with me or with other groups, they chose not to read any of the blogs or watch any films about the war experience, I think it's their way of moving on. I've been lucky so far that none of the accounts of war has bothered me because it touched a sore spot. I think it's a great way of comparing and contrasting experiences and perspectives, and by keeping records of these experiences, you also give your kids or their kids stories to keep.
Granted that opinions of bloggers can be somewhat biased, depends on who you're reading, but that's the beauty of war accounts, individual experiences were never meant to be agreed upon by all anyways.
Of some of the folks who have been deployed with me or with other groups, they chose not to read any of the blogs or watch any films about the war experience, I think it's their way of moving on. I've been lucky so far that none of the accounts of war has bothered me because it touched a sore spot. I think it's a great way of comparing and contrasting experiences and perspectives, and by keeping records of these experiences, you also give your kids or their kids stories to keep.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
The GF had written a post about how she felt guilty for not carrying her weight financially for the last two years.
I have to admit that even though it felt diffcult at times, not have both incomes to keep up financially afloat, it was never my intention to make her feel guilty. I know that the job market is a murky place nowadays, I'm pretty lucky to be working at this point in time.
I just hated seeing her so bored and depressed sometimes because there's not much to do during the day.
If had earned enough $ to live on, save, get a house, have kids, then I don't think we'd even be talking about any of this, you know? I'm not at that point yet in my earning.
I'll have more later on this, got to get to the monthly meeting at work!
*By the way, D.K., you've got a very interesting way of expressing your friendship to me and GF, you could still have been across the pond and we'd never knew that you've left! (That's just my view, the GF is much more understanding than myself, I just don't think that life's long enough to try to befriend someone who doesn't even want to talk to you.)
I have to admit that even though it felt diffcult at times, not have both incomes to keep up financially afloat, it was never my intention to make her feel guilty. I know that the job market is a murky place nowadays, I'm pretty lucky to be working at this point in time.
I just hated seeing her so bored and depressed sometimes because there's not much to do during the day.
If had earned enough $ to live on, save, get a house, have kids, then I don't think we'd even be talking about any of this, you know? I'm not at that point yet in my earning.
I'll have more later on this, got to get to the monthly meeting at work!
*By the way, D.K., you've got a very interesting way of expressing your friendship to me and GF, you could still have been across the pond and we'd never knew that you've left! (That's just my view, the GF is much more understanding than myself, I just don't think that life's long enough to try to befriend someone who doesn't even want to talk to you.)
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