sex

* It should be butt-nekked.

* Both (or however many partners you'd prefer at once) should have been showered and clean, none of that heavily perfumed shit.

* Sweat should only be for afterwords.

* Stupid shit should not be uttered during sex, sometimes, "ohhs, and ahhhhs" would do fine.

* If you are not done, and she (or he) is, go ahead and jack off.

* Never attempt any positions that you are not flexible enough or in shape for.

* Keep the farting to a minimum.

* Scented candles, scented candles!

* "Oh you are so big!" should be uttered only at the right moments.

* Hands, hands are very important.

* No excessive spit.

* Please brush and gargle before, not after.

* Make sure that positionally speaking, you two (or three or four) are in agreement.

* Lube!

* Make sure your toys are fun and can pack some punches! (not literally, but the stronger the viberation, the better it is.)

* Ventilation, very important for oral sex performance. (If you don't want to pass out.)

* There's nothing wrong with either dick or pussy.

* Don't forget to snuggle afterwards!