So far....

Had a fairly quiet weekend, did the grocery shopping thing, the movie thing ("Kung-Fu Hustle" kinda funny, you should go and see it!), some heart to heart time with the GF (she said that I was being a lot like her in the stuff that I had been thinking about. I just wasn't sure if I could do the emotional support thing for her much anymore, if I wasn't doing a good job from before.), and we closed the weekend with a meeting with the gal that I had messed with while I was in Iraq! She just came back from a four-week training in California and was stopping by the post to pick up some stuff for her uniform.

Amazingly, the GF was cool with it, and I guess that gal was too. She met my pets, saw the new apt., chit chatted about her new boyfriend that she swore was "the one", and all the time I was curious about how the GF thought of her and vise versa. I think the GF would rather me not ever talk to her again, and that just may be what would happen, changes in life and passage of time would take care of that. I didn't think that being mean was the way to go.

It has been diffucult lately, we just moved, and I was gone again to see my folks, and it's just so damn easy to become ultra-sensitive about all things. I'd like to sleep for a week straight, veg out with the GF and the pets, talking about anything but the sensitive topics that have no easy answers, and just go on from there.

sex

* It should be butt-nekked.

* Both (or however many partners you'd prefer at once) should have been showered and clean, none of that heavily perfumed shit.

* Sweat should only be for afterwords.

* Stupid shit should not be uttered during sex, sometimes, "ohhs, and ahhhhs" would do fine.

* If you are not done, and she (or he) is, go ahead and jack off.

* Never attempt any positions that you are not flexible enough or in shape for.

* Keep the farting to a minimum.

* Scented candles, scented candles!

* "Oh you are so big!" should be uttered only at the right moments.

* Hands, hands are very important.

* No excessive spit.

* Please brush and gargle before, not after.

* Make sure that positionally speaking, you two (or three or four) are in agreement.

* Lube!

* Make sure your toys are fun and can pack some punches! (not literally, but the stronger the viberation, the better it is.)

* Ventilation, very important for oral sex performance. (If you don't want to pass out.)

* There's nothing wrong with either dick or pussy.

* Don't forget to snuggle afterwards!

Update

On this past Saturday, I got a phone call from my sister, telling me that my grandpa got into the hospital a few hours ago, dangerously low blood pressure got him in an ambulance. She said that my uncle (who usually is around my grandparents a lot) was close to tears as he was calling her. We agreed to get plane tickets for flights leaving our perspective towns at the earliest time possible.

I had just moved, and this is not the kind of stuff that I needed, but who's really in control of all this anyways? I frantically looked for plane tickets and finally found one leaving at 6 in the morning and with a military discount. It was already close to one in the morning, I was tearing up too. The gf was looking and I'm sure feeling helpless for me too. I cried for a bit and told her that I wasn't ready to see him go, who is?

Didn't get much sleep that night, arrived at the airport, met up with my sister, and rushed towards the hospital. Grandpa was in intensive care unit, and he was all tubed up from breathing tubes, IV lines, to catheters in his groin area. I've never seen him so helpless. His eyes couldn't even open because he was so weak. How did it all get so bad? I just talked to him on the phone a day earlier, he sounded weak but was hanging in there.

He had over 8 doctors of different specialities examine him, and no one really has any answers on why he was ill. All they could do is treat whatever symptoms that comes up. I think his will is very strong, I've seen him attempt to communicate, and struggle to open his eyes. All the members of the family pulled different shifts to be in ICU with him, then taking turns taking care of grandma, who has been freaking out (rationally or irrationally), and getting boxed lunches for those pulling their shifts in the hospital. That means not a lot of sleep for anyone and lots of over-flavored Chinese foods.

Everyone was frustrated but did their best to get along, however, I could no longer stand one of my aunt's (not the one that I grew up with) negative atttitudes towards me and the general scenario of trying to take care of the folks, so instead of exploding in front of her face, I wrote her a serious letter, asking her to cut the crap out, that no one is asking her to be anyone's best friend, but could she just be more mature about this whole thing. I had withstood her attitude over the years but it's getting ridiculous, you know?

I felt afraid, tired, and not knowing what to do all at the same time. Questioning my relationships with family, friends,and gf, and wondering if I should just be a hermit, drop out of life for a while and then start again.

Yet, looking at grandpa and how he's fighting for his life, there are still some things worthwhile and in a way, I know at least what some of them are.

The tale of two bitches

As most of you probably already knew, I was raised by my paternal grandparents, followed by a few years of living with my aunt (my father's younger sister), and uncle (her husband). In my recollection, life was pretty peaceful with my grandparents, and life with aunt and uncle was a whole other matter. I had always admired my aunt from when I was a little girl, I was born when she was in high school and since she was my mother's age, some people had mistaken us for mother and daughter. Something happened over the years and she became a picky and domineering woman, and my primary memory from the age of 10 to about 17, (I had also lived for 2 years in between with my father and stepmother, who really should have not become parents to start with.)I remember the daily yellings and lots of that psychological manipulation stuff. She dominated me and my uncle, and my uncle and I are cordial, but we were never close to began with.

I finally moved out to goto college, thus ending that part of my life with her. Don't get me wrong, she had all the best intentions, she just pushed me too hard from time to time. She's now in her 50's and has a son of her own since I left to goto college, he's an smart and active 15 year old. She works in the textile industry and has her one woman ran business. I don't know how big or how profitable her business is, but it frequently takes her to Southeast Asia for business. She's so ambitious that I don't think she'll retire any time soon.

My uncle, her younger brother, always have been the smartest and upright kid of his pack, did just about everything right, except that he married this seemingly sweet woman who basically turned out to be a total bitch. Maybe he had married the type that he fancied, someone masochistic always seems to want someone sadistic to be their partner. She was a Vietnamese immigrant from a large family, met my uncle while they were both graduate students, and married in the mid-80's. At first she was pretty sweet, then something happened, as if she had forgotten that a typical Asian family is, in nature, a large family with all 3-4 generations present and living in close proximity. Maybe she got sick of the fact that my grandparents chose to live nearby and wanted to be involved in their kids lives, who really knows why. She got bitter and angry over the years and even though she didn't yet lash out, with the ways that she carried herself around my uncle side of the family, she might as well have.

When my grandpa got ill, my aunt flew down for a week to help and take care of him. There were a lot of tension between her and my uncle, over what the best care was for grandpa, and it really helped when my uncle wife would occasionally cry out "Why me? What did I do to deserve caring for this family?" In reality, it has been my uncle, her long-suffering husband, who has been taking care of the folks, bringing home the pay so she didn't have to go and find a job, and shuttling the kids from and to school and all the activities that they do. (To tell you the truth, my cousins, all three of them, ages range from 11 to 16, couldn't stand to lift a finger either to help their dad out.) I can only imagine how my aunt was feeling at that point. You see, my aunt, after having pissed off so many people, business associates, family and friends alike, will not hesitate to get into a full-fledge fight with her sister-in law. I only hope that when they do duke it out, it'll not be in front of the grandparents or my uncle.

Maybe they are just what each other needs, one to vent and the other to take.

It also kind of makes me afraid to have kids sometimes, am I going to raise them mostly Chinese or American? Am I going to pressure my kids to take care of me if I fell ill or have gotten really, really old? Or do I want us to be in a nursing home, with other old folks like us, that'll probably feel like we're back in college again...dormatory style living, all over again! Hopefully, by then we'll be so deep into our amnesia or alzheimers to really care!

My thoughts are with my grandparents.

Update

As of yesterday afternoon, we're all packed, the movers came and loaded our earthly posessions onto a 18 wheeler, stuffed the cat into the cage (they are so going to kill us later!), and packed the dog in GF's car and off we went.

Boy am I going to miss Austin! Even though this city has been poor in job opportunities and rich in flaky people, you can't beat the warm weather, the food (oh yeah!), and its various interesting aspects. A friend of mine from my Iraq days came to say hello. It was kind of weird time, he was on a cross-country trip, kind of a reward/job search trip upon his retirement from the army. He's rather young for someone who is retiring (38), and is about to pull his hair out because he thought that getting a job would be easy upon retirement, after all, the war on terror is still going on, and he being ex-military, would be game for any defense contracting firm. The thing is, he was either too busy or unwilling to pick up additional skills aside from driving a tank, and chasing girls, so he's having a hard time now.

It's funny, he didn't have that much of fun in Iraq, since his girl chasing reputation preceeded him. For a while, he had a crush on my then roommate in Iraq, unfortunatly, his devotion did not yield to what he had wanted. He's a self-confessed pervert, but that was what was so enduring about him, at least he was honest about it. He told me over coffee that he thought that I was a bit of a prude when it came to that area....I just laughed. You see, one doesn't always have to be downloading porn all the time in order to be a perv. It was good to see him, between all the worries about jobs and frustration, I wish for all the best for him!

I also, through my friend, got to talk to another friend of mine from Iraq. She was a postal clerk there, and she came back to the reserves after about a 15 year break. Kind of interesting, like myself, she's not very military at all. A 47 year old free spirit, and a vegan, we had fun making fun of things and sometimes other people. She had kept in touch with my other friend but couldn't get in touch with me because she did not have my information. When I finally got to talk to her, I found out that she wasn't doing well. The war has affected her so much that now she's on antidepressants, and in counseling. It sucks but at least she's making an effort to help herself better.

My grandfather has become quite ill, and so far no one really knows why he's ill. His doctor thought that he had a stroke, but a brainscan found out that it wasn't true. Guesses included diabetes, chemical inbalance, etc. He's in a stupor all the time, cannot stay awake, doesn't really want to eat, and also cannot walk. I'm pretty worried about him. I know that he's pretty old and falling apart physically is part of the deal, but nevertheless, it's still pretty hard to accept. I really hope he feels better soon.

I've got to somehow buckle down and get back to work, unpack, and make our lives in a strange new place again. I have no idea how it'll all turn out, I hope that it'll be good though.

This moving thing is complicated!

I'm in the process of moving from this place to the Great Midwest (can you just detect a pinch of sarcasm?), and the army has given me 2 weeks to do so.

That's not enough time, according to both the army movers and civilian movers.

We've got a lot of $*&t to pack, and so far, we're less than 1/3 done.

Of course, the person responsible for handling my moving with the gov't is out today also...

...I think I'm about to pull out my pubes!

On the other view of the war...

Below is an except from "Strykernews.com", from the newpaper "The Olympian":

Division over war bared

OLYMPIA -- Two years and 1,519 U.S. casualties after the start of war in Iraq, family members of a soldier who died early in the conflict said there is no reason to keep fighting.

The widow and older sister of Spc. Joe Blickenstaff told more than 200 people Saturday that the continued occupation of Iraq would only bring more harm to soldiers, both U.S. and Iraqi.

Read the Entire Entry...»




The group gathered Saturday on the Capitol Campus before marching downtown, while a smaller group marked the day on an overpass north of Lacey, where they have gathered every Saturday since the war began to support the military.

Blickenstaff, a gunner with the Fort Lewis-based Stryker Brigade, died in Iraq on Dec. 8, 2003, in a rollover accident in his Stryker. He was 23, the youngest of four children.

"My baby brother drowned in an irrigation canal filled with mud," said Susan Livingston, a teacher's assistant in Bellingham.

Angela Blickenstaff, the soldier's widow, spoke out against the war for the first time. Blickenstaff is in the National Guard, and has refrained from joining peace movements because of her military service, she said.

"I was told by other members of the military it would be OK to put a bumper sticker on my car, but if I spoke at a rally it would be unpatriotic and unsupportive of the troops," said the 25-year-old widow, who lives in Tacoma. [...]

Near Fort Lewis, about 20 people gathered to wave U.S. flags at the Interstate 5 overpass at exit 122. Like some of the peace protesters, many of them were veterans and family members of soldiers.

Mark Ceccarelli, a retired Marine from Lakewood, plays the trumpet on the overpass almost every Saturday to show his support of the soldiers.

"They won't let me carry a rifle anymore, so this is how I support them," he said. "I carry the flag for them. It's what I can do."

Olympia resident Mitzi Leifer often attends pro-troops rallies, although she didn't Saturday. Her son is an Air Force pilot stationed in the Pacific, who occasionally flies missions in the Middle East. Iraq is better off now than it was two years ago, she said.

"The election was one major event that will help the tides to change," said Leifer. "There are still some car bombings going on and people wanting to kill us. When the president said it's going to be a long road, I believe that."

Seeing peace protests sometimes upsets her, although it doesn't seem to upset her son, she said.

"I've learned to ignore them and kind of bless them," she said. "If they want to believe that, that's their right, just don't spit on my son when he comes home."

Livingston is still proud of her brother's military service, she said. But she wishes she could see him alive again. She said she wants to see more soldiers' families spared that grief, and save soldiers the pain of injury and mental illness like post-traumatic stress disorder.

"I said goodbye to him in November of 2003. He came home in his coffin a month later," said Livingston.

Livingston and her mother met with President Bush at Fort Lewis shortly after the soldier died. Bush was visiting the Army post and meeting with Gold Star families -- the families of dead soldiers.

"He told my mom, 'I'm going to make sure your son didn't die in vain.' He was telling all the mothers that," Livingston recalled. "I admire staying power, but in this case it terrified me. He's not going to stop.

"A thousand coffins have come home since Joe's and it's still in vain," she said.

*Not to get political here, but when I'd think about the seemingly unfounded connection between the weapons of mass destruction issue (that was subsequently glossed over when none were found in Iraq.), and the "Axis of evil" concept (now Iraq is a hotbed of anti-US insurgent activities.), it does also make me wonder about when will Mr.Bush be satisfied and start devising a more sound plan to revitalize Iraq, instead of having all these soldiers come back from Iraq and Afghnistan in coffins, and suffering from permanent injuries/PTSD's) Is it any wonder that the military is having a hard time maintaining its retention goals? After all the commotions and emotions has passed, you are going to have people question if its all really worth it.

Not to get on a soapbox here, but one of the ways to improve the present situation is by dialoguing between those who oppose and those who support to military cause. Learn as much as we can from this experience and do it better next time around.

I had a good time hanging out with my sister!

My sister's 26 years old, and we did not grow up together like other siblings. She is my only sibling,and shortly after she was born, my parents got divorced. She came to live stateside when I was about to graduate from high school. Not having much interaction with each other, we sort of just left each other alone to do our own thing.

Over the years, however, concerns about our birth parents and grandparents sort of brought us together. I try not to lecture like a typical older sister, thankfully, she's stubborn enough not to really listen to me. Even though I'm older, I'm not sure that I'm that much wiser.

She eventually met this man and got married after being with him on and off for the last 8 years, and divorced little bit before the year was through. He basically used her and for a while, then basically got sick of her and left.

So now she lives along with her beagle and is feeling quite lonely. Since I only see her during family gatherings, I decided to take a weekend and go see her. I got really lucky and got to fly for free because of frequent flyer miles.

She lives in the surburb of Milwaukee, on the Illnois side, and before I started my journey, I told her that we were just going to hang out, eat, and play with her dog, and that's exactly what we did. Between bites of Japanese, American, Indian, and Thai foods, we talked about everything. There were tiny moments of almost complete disagreement, but we just relaxed and didn't pursue the issues too much further. We're very similar, but also very different, we'll both do whatever that we wanted to do, just with different styles and different levels of guilt.

I can see that she feels quite lonly, but out of her recent heartbreak, she has come out stronger and better.

I had a good time, it's good to have a sister that I can get along with!

Congratulations, Colby Buzzell!...and other stuff.

I ran across Colby Buzzell's blog today, and it seems like a major publisher will publish a book on his experiences in Iraq, a lot of it will probably be taken from his blog "My War".

I don't know if he's still in the army, but he's way to creative to stay in. I'm pretty proud of him, in some ways, he's sort of like a war buddy who had made it. We were both in Iraq around the same time, even though we had stayed on different bases and didn't know each other.

I wish that I was as good of a writer as he is, I mean, picking up a publishing deal is a big thing. Not only will one get a lot of $, but just imagine if also your book got picked up for a major motion picture! I think one will also have the first say about who plays what characters...pretty cool!

I wonder if the powers that be are already developing screenplays about this war, somehow, I didn't think that "Three Kings" had a really good perspective on what it was really like back in the first Gulf War, but then again, it was only a semi-factual fiction.

I'm trying to not watch a lot of documentaries which were recently made about the war, I don't want my brain to be saturated with that stuff. I mean, most of the people in this world do not wear desert camoulflaged uniforms or eat MRE's. Occasionally, a few of those documentaries are really worth looking at though. One of my biggest, and probably the most irrational, fear is that I'll be so deeply entrenched in the military and its ways of doing things that I can no longer really think for myself. (on a grander scale) Yet, look at me, less than 4 months after I came back, I'm back in uniform again, working on a military post, and probably will stay this way for at least the next 2 years (and that might even change!). Doing exactly what I said that I no longer wanted any more part of...so never say never, I guess.

It's not all that bad though, I work for and with some of the smartest and most relaxed people that I've ever met, that's one step closer to the job nirvana. I'm of the school that one should get the tasks at hand completed, minimize the bullshit, and pack up and enjoy the rest of the day.

I miss the girlfriend and the pets...what really matters, above the jobs and everything else.

Bradli N. Coleman

It has been about not quite 6 months since I've gotten back from Iraq, and once again I have to say that I've been fairly lucky not to have any body parts missing, or dead. I did witness quite a few close calls and one of which ended up with the death of a very young soldier, unfortunately. His name was Bradli Coleman, and I couldn't say that I knew him in life, but I wonder if he has any ideas how he's influencing me in death.

I don't know why I've chosen to write about him and the event of his demise about almost one year (will be in May) after it had happened, but I've never stopped thinking about what had happed that day....especially when I could not goto sleep. I'd also think about my friend Hakim, one of the native translators who had gotten murdered shortly after our group had left. Sometimes, I'd see Bradli laying there, covered in blood after they took him out of his burning trailer, his trailer was mortared that afternoon while he was sleeping, since he had worked the night shift, he had on this army brown tee shirt and army PT shorts, and he was just lifeless while medic tried like heck to revive him. Not exactly the way that I'd like to remember someone, I'm not sure if anyone would like to be remembered like that either.

Yet, it's not always that sad. I don't know if having watched him die had conveyed also a different message to those who where there also. You see, Bradli was only 19 and barely got started in his adult life, and I'm 32, also kind of barely lived. Oh sure I've been to many places, and met a lot of people, but I can't say that I've done that much or have been intimate with many people, and I'm not talking about sex. His death reminds that, for God's sake, start living and do it like you mean it, because for whatever reasons, guys like Bradli won't get to do it.

It's like that scene in "Saving Private Ryan", when Tom Hank's character was dying, he told Private Ryan to "live a good life", in some ways, Bradli has been telling me that, and I hope that, somehow, he knows how much I appreciate him for that.

Simply Complicated

By The Great Mr. Jimmy Buffett

When you find out things about yourself
That you hadn't ought to know
When your grandma calls and books you
on the Jerry Springer Show
And you find out you and your wife of 10 years
Just might be related
Brother, life's not over
It's just simply complicated.

There's other situations that might challenge you I guess
When your daughter tries out for the football team
And your son tries on her dress.
And you start to think that the devil's in charge
Of how you're situated.
Life is still worth living
It's just simply complicated

Life is complicated with its if's and and's and but's
It's alright to be crazy, just don't let it drive you nuts.

My daughter wants to go on dates
I think I'll let her go.
But she better not be moving at the moving picture show.
Or stop by all those conchy tonks and get inebriated
Ain't it all a caution, it's just simply complicated.

Now I'm having a big problem with my present day career
My ship, she has a rudder, but I don't know where to steer.
Am I country, pop, or rock 'n roll
I know they are related
I'll just let you be the judge
It's simply complicated

Life is complicated with its if's and and's and but's
It's alright to be crazy, just don't let it drive you nuts.

Life is complicated
Oh shit!

Mint flavored tampons and 24 hour news channels

I don't know about you, but I was thinking about how neat it would be to have mint tampons! You know, for those hot summer days when you are just "not feeling so fresh"! But then again, I don't know whether or not we can feel the cooling sensation of mint "down there". I mean, my "down there" really can't tell the difference between plain ole' unscented tampons versus powder-scented tampons.

Also, I used to be able to tell time from what shows were on tv. With the onset of 24 hour news channels, I am no longer able to tell what time it is. I still don't like to wear watches now. I had to wear one when I was in Iraq, having to work both day and night shifts (not all at the same time, but you just never knew) it was good to have some sense of time.

Sigh!

Long time no see!

Greetings everyone! I know that it has been a while since I've written, and it wasn't that nothing had happened since the time that I came back to Austin. I just wanted to spend as much time as I can with family.

Here's a list of what had happened during the last 2-3 weeks:

1. I got to spend some time during Chinese New Year with my family in Houston.
2. I purchased my first brand new car, a 05' Toyota Matrix, not the souped up version, but that is exactly how I wanted.
3. My grandfather offered to finance the purchase of the car, provided that I leave the girlfriend. I got into an argument with him, realizing that neither of us were going to change our minds, I went ahead and applied to finance the car myself.
4. I think my folks are trying really hard to understand and perhaps even accept my lifestyle, but I know that it's hard, and while I don't expect them to fully do the all the above, I do know that all they wanted for me is to be happy and taken care of.
5. The girlfriend and I had discussed a lot about our fears and insecurities, it's a up hill climb to overcome a lot of obstacles in our relationship, but a worthwhile one.
6. I ate like I wanted.
7. Got to spend quality time with the nephew, he's such a cute and good kid!
8. Didn't think a lot about work.
9. Decided that I was not going to be around people who'll bring me down.
10. Saw my grandparents locked in a passionate embrace, and frankly, I felt a bit traumatized by it, but not in a very bad way.
11. I had a good time hanging out with my younger sister, and looking forward to seeing her next month.

Watching the girlfriend playing poker earlier tonight, I saw that the movie "Courage Under Fire" was on the big screen tv. Although it was about a fictious event from the first Gulf War, I found it more difficult to watch this time around, for some reasons. A friend told me that, having been through combat, you don't try to throw yourself back by exposing yourself to watching war ducmentaries or war movies. I never saw myself as someone who might be easily touched or affected by war movies, but I just may be rethinking about that.

I just heard from my former 1st. Sgt. from Iraq, and he wrote that work doesn't seem to be as important as it used to be, now that we're all back from Iraq. I think I feel the same way, not much seems to shock or rattle me since I came back. It was good to finally hear from him, he was a fine leader and a good human being (still is), and that's hard to find in war or in peace.

I will write more at a later time. Looking forward to getting back to work, and navigating through the unknowns.

Breaking the habit

It's just a cool song....especially the video!

Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again

[Bridge:]
I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

[Chorus:]
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight

Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again

[Bridge:]
I dont want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

[Chorus:]
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight

[Bridge:]
I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends

[Chorus:]
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
to show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
I’m breaking the habit
Tonight

Just no cure.....

Even after extensive highlighting done to my hair, I am sad to report that I just found about 5 strands of gray hair on the right side of my temple! The girlfriend was right, one of these days, my hair will look like that of Einstein's!

Welcome back, Colby Buzzell

http://cbftw.blogspot.com/

Go and read his blog, what a young, neat, creative, and scarred guy!

New lyrics Monday

*Let Go by Frou Frou

drink up, baby down
mmm, are you in or are you out
leave your things behind
'cause it's all going off without you
excuse me, too busy you're writing your tragedy
these mishaps
you bubble wrap
when you've no idea what you're like

so let go, jump in
oh well, whatcha waiting for
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
so let go, just get in
oh, it's so amazing here
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown

it gains the more it gives
and then it rises with the fall
so hand me that remote
can't you see that all that stuff's a sideshow

such boundless pleasure
we've no time for later now
you can't await your own arrival
you've 20 seconds to comply

so let go, jump in
oh well, whatcha waiting for
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
so let go, just get in
oh, it's so amazing here
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown

*Featured in "Garden State" soundtrak

The latest....

I am finally a NCO (Non-Commissioned Officer), I thought that it would never happen!

Had a great time (in the best and the worst sense of the words) while the GF was here, we spent some time with Beth and John, who graciously took us around the KC area, shared some great bbq, their home, premium coffee, and of course, lots of fur therapy! (That made me miss my Ramen all but more!)

We got our feet wet at Harrah's in KC, and an indicator that the new year is finally upon us was the fact that we've actually won! (Not huge wins, but it was enough to cover some expenses.) Plus, I successfully navigated for the GF, and that's not something that I'm normally good at!)

I had to return my rental car, since the gov't will only pay for 2 weeks worth. Barring bad weather, I'm actually looking forward to getting some quality walking done in lovely Kansas!

By the way, the sun is finally out again, it's good to see the blue sky once again!

Lyric freak

For those few of you who might know me or about me, I frequently quote song lyrics, because sometimes, I'd run out of something original to say about things, and song lyrics sometimes describes my feelings almost exactly....

So here is the song lyric of the day.....

GREEN DAY LYRICS

"American Idiot"

Don't wanna be an American idiot.
Don't want a nation under the new mania.
And can you hear the sound of hysteria?
The subliminal mind fuck America.

Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alienation.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
For that's enough to argue.

Well maybe I'm the faggot America.
I'm not a part of a redneck agenda.
Now everybody do the propaganda.
And sing along in the age of paranoia.

Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alienation.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
For that's enough to argue.

Don't wanna be an American idiot.
One nation controlled by the media.
Information age of hysteria.
It's calling out to idiot America.

Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alienation.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
For that's enough to argue.

So far....

Well, I've been working for about a week now at Leavenworth, and I am think that this post is kind of like this dwindling Western town, there are not that many people here, and maybe due to the weather or whatever, a lot of people walk with their heads down. Everyone just kind of keeps to themselves. There is no dining facility here, maybe they had deployed all the cooks to Iraq and Afghanistan already.

Each day, I'd get up around 6, get to work by 8, so far, I've been translating "trade journals" about military stuff from Chinese into English. I interact with my collegue by having light hearted conversations, and cross reference each other on our Chinese. I've got my own desk and desktop, and there is no one breathing down your neck, micromanaging you...at least no so far. Around noon, I'd grab a quick lunch, and then between all the articles and how many keystrokes a minute, it's 5 PM, and it's time to go back to my temporary abode.

I do try and go hit their gym, this really old and really basic looking place, get my heartrate up for about an hour, then I stumble back, shower, eat, watch some t.v. or read, and then hit the sack.

I can't wait until the girlfriend comes up to see me for the weekend! I've been missing her company, and a few other things that comes with her company! (hehehehehe...) We are going to try and see Kansas City, and visit with John and Beth.

We are also going to have to talk about whether or not this great Midwest is the place where we want to move to or not.

I'm getting by, I like the fact that I am the only female linguist working there!